One Month of Daily Gratitude

I love gratitude lists! They are quick ways of reminding yourself of the gratitude in your life. I've tried writing daily gratitude lists before but it never became a habit. I have been looking at other people's daily gratitude lists and it inspired me to try it again for at least a month. I made it a goal for the whole month of April. I even used an empty journal that I had so that I could write my lists in an actual gratitude diary. At the end of the day, I would jot down a few things that I was grateful for on that specific day or I would make myself write them down not long after they happened. Some things were written into more of a sentence and others were just point form. I wrote at least one thing each day. My gratitude ranges from simple things like hearing birds through an open window to big things like winning second place in a short essay contest.

Writing these daily lists made me realize that there is always something to be grateful for, even during tough times in our life. April wasn't easy for me. My Grandma's health was going up and down and my Great-Aunt Mary passed away. Even with all of this happening, there were still good things that happened and making these lists helped me to see that this month wasn't all bad. I think that's the great thing about making gratitude lists, they show you that there is always something good that you might miss if you don't pay attention to it. The stress of April has been continuing into May so I'm glad that I have decided to continue my gratitude diary. It helps a lot!

If you're curious about what my daily gratitude lists look like, here are my lists from April. Enjoy!

April 1:

• Walking my dog on a beautiful day with my brother
• My cat being happy to see me
• Friends staying for a little while to chat
• Recognizing and moving past unhelpful thoughts
• I found out that my cousin got engaged

April 2:

• Morning walk with my brother to get brunch
• Warm sunny weather
• Baking cookies while I drank tea and listened to music
• Chatting with a friend
• Feeling productive today because my brother and I got some things done around the house
• Talking to my best friend about something that has been bothering me lately
• Finding out that my Dad is going to buy Fan Expo tickets for my brother and I

April 3:

• Lots of walking
• Carpets of moss
• Squishy mud
• Writing a letter to my pen pal from Indonesia

April 4:

• Grandma is here at our house to stay while she recuperates from her health problems
• Working together with my brother to get the house ready for Grandma's stay
• Having supper ready for my parents and Grandma when they got home
• Baking muffins

April 5:

• A good shower
• Got my pen pal letter mailed out
• Grandma commented on how pretty a Chickadee was (Chickadees just happen to be my favourite bird)
• Chocolate covered vanilla ice cream bars
• Chocolate milk and a roasted garlic and cheese bagel toasted with herb and garlic cream cheese
• My cat crawled up on Grandma's bed

April 6:

• Recognizing when I needed time alone and giving myself that time

April 7:

• Two lovely ladies commented on how they liked my outfit
• First little bike ride of the year in the evening when the sun was going down

April 8:

• Baking cupcakes for my Dad's birthday (My Dad loved them)
• Biking to the cemetery
• Some plants are starting to come up in our yard

April 9:

• Earl Grey tea and lemon coffee cake for breakfast
• My cat snoozing on my bed
• Writing my Spring goals list
• Being encouraged to write by my city's current poet laureate

April 10:

• My Great-Aunt Mary had a wonderful life

April 11:

• Not forcing myself to focus when I can't focus
• Playing with my cat

April 12:

• Hearing birds through an open window
• Made a wire gem tree as a late birthday present for my Dad

April 13:

• I bought a book that I've been wanting to buy
• I found out that I won second place in a short essay contest
• I saw the first robin that I've seen this Spring
• Eating ice cream with Grandma
• Seeing all of the solar lights lit up in the cemetery this evening

April 14:

• Biking with my Mom
• Feeling like I'm finally starting to figure out my life a bit

April 15:

• The first episode of the new season of Doctor Who

April 16:

• Baking
• A great Easter supper
• Spending time with my family

April 17:

• Cadbury creme egg
• A really nice cashier

April 18:

• I completed my main goal for today of finding something that I needed to find (it was easier to find than I thought
• Getting questions answered (and receiving the answers that I was hoping for)
• My cat groomed my rabbit
• I figured out how to scan documents to save on the computer
• A very productive day

April 19:

• Homemade pizza
• A nice email

April 20:

• I finished my application for the Library and Information Technician program through Confederation College's distance education

April 21:

• Wearing an outfit that makes me happy
• Waking up earlier and getting ready earlier in the morning
• Homemade chocolate peanut butter cups

April 22:

• Drinking tea on the front porch with my cat on my lap
• My Mom finally found the library book that she borrowed using my library card (the day before it was due)

April 23:

• Funny TV show
• Perogies in tomato soup

April 24:

• My first donation for this year's Gutsy Walk and it was the amount that I set as my goal!

April 25:

• I'm going to be starting the Library and Information Technician program through Confederation College's distance education in September

April 26:

• My family
• My pets
• Spring peepers
• Earl Grey tea

April 27:

• Wind chimes and birds
• Trying  a new cookie recipe

April 28:

• Spending time with my best friend
• Bubble tea
• Exploring
• Lots of walking
• The power coming back on after going out yesterday
• My favourite teacher from elementary school saying "Hi!" to my friend and I while we were walking past her car that was stopped on the road

April 29:

• A good shower in the morning
• Getting my Grandma out of her hospital room for a little while
• Vegetarian tacos

April 30:

• Buying books and art pencils on sale and getting even better sales on them than I originally thought
• Going up to the camp for the night

Cheers,
Kaylie

Finding Inner Peace Before Outer Peace

During the time that I've spent facing my personal challenges and figuring out how to deal with them, I came to a realization about peace. It came to me as a question: How can I want the world to be at peace if I'm not even at peace with myself? Seeing all of the bad things that have been happening in the world within  the past few years (and even longer than that), I have wondered what it's going to take for the world to be peaceful. Of course, you can hope for peace or you can create it, one little step at a time. However, you need to find inner peace first. How can you speak of peace if you haven't even found peace within you? If you haven't learned to control your own challenges? If you are going through tough times? Maybe spreading peace in the world will help you with your inner peace but shouldn't you focus on your inner peace before outer peace? Shouldn't you find peace within yourself? Shouldn't you learn to be at peace with yourself? Shouldn't you create peace within yourself?

Sure, you can smile and pretend that everything is okay while you try to spread peace and help other people but all that you'll be doing is wearing a mask if you don't address what you're going through and do something about it. Wouldn't you like to be at peace before you start spreading peace? It's just like that idea of self-love: How can you love other people if you don't even love yourself? By finding inner peace, we learn how to be peaceful and I think that's the first step to making the world peaceful. Be a peaceful person. Show peace. Feel peace. Be peace. Then you can create peace outside of yourself.

Now, I admit that I still have some work to do on myself. I want peace in the world but I am still in the process of finding peace within myself. Writing this post, I felt like maybe I am not qualified to write it since I am still in the process of doing exactly what I say should be done. But then again, I need to write this to get these ideas out and start acting on them. I need to address the fact that I am still working on finding inner peace so that I can begin to find inner peace. And then I can work on taking steps to do my part in making the world a more peaceful place.

My problem is that I bottle up a lot. I bottle up emotions, thoughts, worries, and fear. I bottle them up until I finally just break down. My mind is not always at peace. It's a crazy storm that just keeps going, as well as growing bigger. It makes it hard to concentrate. It makes it hard to relax. If I address what I'm feeling and learn how to deal with it in a healthy way, then I'll be able to focus on other things. I could try to focus on other things but it would only be temporary. My restless mind will just be there waiting for me to get back after the distraction.

People find peace in various ways. Meditation, yoga, belief systems, art, and music are just some of the ways that people relax and deal with whatever life throws at them. Our mind can be both our best friend and our greatest enemy. It can pick us up or it can throw us down. We need to learn how to control it. We need to use it to our advantage. We need to use it to make ourselves better people and make the world a better place. We need to remember to keep working on it and then, someday, we will feel enough inner peace to be able to spread our peace further out into the world.

Wishing you peace,
Kay

Tea Meditation

A tea meditation is a nice meditation to do in the morning or evening when you're drinking a cup of tea. You basically use all of your senses to experience and enjoy your tea. By using all of your senses as you drink the tea and paying attention to them, you stay in the present moment. If thoughts come, just let them float on by and bring your attention back to the tea. Here we go!

Tea Meditation:
Pour yourself a cup of tea. Pick a flavour that you really like and use your favourite mug or tea cup. Smell the tea and take deep breaths of the steam coming from the hot liquid. Feel the warmth of the cup on your hands. Look at the colour and the stillness of the liquid. Take a drink and listen to the sound as you sip the tea. Keep the tea in your mouth for a moment in order to experience the unique flavour. Feel the warmth of the tea in your mouth and as it runs down your throat. Take a moment to feel gratitude for the tea that you are drinking and think of the healing aspects of tea. Imagine the tea spreading to all areas of your body, warming it and healing it. Repeat these steps as you drink the rest of your tea.

Cheers,
Kay

Life Lessons That I Learned From University

Last week I shared a list of the life lessons that I learned from being a piano teacher. It got me thinking about life lessons that I have learned from other experiences in my life, like university. Maybe this will become a bit of a new blog post series on my blog. I probably won't write these blog posts a whole lot but maybe once in a while. We'll see. They'll all be found under the 'Life Lessons' label. Anyway, back to my university experience. If you have read my 'About' page, then you know that I graduated from Laurentian University in June 2015 with a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and a minor in French (as a second language). I therefore also have my bilingualism certificate for French as a second language. Now, looking back at my experience of doing a four year undergraduate degree in university, especially a Bachelor of Arts, I didn't just learn about the subjects that I was studying. I also learned a lot about life and myself. In the following list, I share what I learned.

1) Question everything: Don't understand something? Ask a question. Get answers. Don't like something or believe something or just have a different opinion? Question it. Challenge it. Let your voice be heard.

2) Think for yourself, you're allowed to have an opinion: This is connected to the life lesson above about questioning everything. You are allowed to think differently. You are allowed to have an opinion. You are allowed to be a free thinker. Open up your mind.

3) We have to figure out for ourselves how we learn best: I learned that classroom learning isn't the best option for me since I am a visual learner (as well as a bit of a kinesthetic learner) rather than an auditory learner. I learn better on my own and through online courses. Everyone is different. You just have to figure out how you learn best and use that to help you in future learning.

4) We are always learning: We start learning from the time that we are born and then for the rest of our lives. There is so much to learn, the world is so big, and we experience so many things. Even if you aren't in school, you still continue to learn and that's a beautiful thing.

5) The world is an amazing and crazy place: University is great for showing us how to look at the world differently. Trust me, you'll never see it the same way ever again.

University is definitely an incredible experience! It opens up your mind to new ideas and prepares you to go out into the world and make your own choices about how you want to live your life and how you want to think.

Cheers,
Kay

I Shall Have Some Peace There

My family owns a camp, a little cabin in the bush (woods) with a small wood-stove. It is like a second home. When we started using it again regularly this year, two years had passed since we had last visited it. I checked my journal and found out that the last time that we were there was September 22nd, 2013 and we had arrived on September 21st and stayed there overnight. The day that we finally visited again was September 21st, 2015, the day which, two years ago, had been the last night that we would spend there for a while. Of course, some of our relatives who also partly own the camp may have visited it during that time, but it didn't look like it had been used very much.

We have been trying to use it more now. It feels good to go back there, where it is quiet and relaxing. Where we are surrounded by nature. Where there are less distractions. Where we are away from society, away from civilization. I could go on and on but the point is, it's peaceful there. When I am there, I am surrounded by nature and I am also surrounded by my family since we go there together.

I also find that it is easier for me to concentrate on various activities like reading books and working on various projects. I like writing there and working on crafts like my loom knitting. There are so many distractions at my family's house and there are just so many things to be done there. At our camp, however, life is simple. There aren't a million things to do, only a few. That leaves time for working on other things. The quiet of the bush and the warmth of the wood-stove provide a great atmosphere. We sit quietly and read or work on whatever we like. In the mornings, we meditate, and on Saturday evening, we listen to Randy Bachman's Vinyl Tap on CBC Radio, a radio show where Randy Bachman shares songs that fall under a theme (a different theme is chosen for each show) and shares stories from his experience as a musician and his experiences meeting various other musicians.

Of course, many experiences of mine remind me of songs or literature and my experiences of staying at my camp are no different. In William Butler Yeats' poem, "The Lake Isle Of Innisfree," he talks about going to Innisfree and he describes Innisfree and describes what he will do there. At one point in the poem, he says, "I shall have some peace there." For Yeats, Innisfree is where he finds peace. For me, my family's camp is where I find peace.

Cheers,
Kay

Geronimo's Rescue Story

One year ago today, my brother and I rescued a rabbit. He was the size of my hand, approximately 2 months old, and he was out in -18 degrees Celsius winter weather. We were at our grandma's house and knew about the rabbits in her neighbourhood. Someone had let some domestic rabbits outside and they had bred over the years. There are many rabbits there now of various breeds. The rabbit that we rescued was one of them, possibly part lionhead. We knew that it was too cold outside for a rabbit his age so my brother and I went outside with a towel after we saw him hopping around in our grandma's driveway. By the time we got outside, he was hopping along the road. We followed him to try and catch him in the towel but he kept hopping away from us. We finally chased him against a snowbank and he was unable to climb it so we threw the towel over him and brought him inside. We found a small pet carrier in the garage and set it up for him with a towel and water. His eyes were closed and he hid under the towel most of the time, obviously quite scared.

I texted our parents, who were working, and told them what had happened. I still remember the text that my Dad sent back: "You can't keep him." We waited until our parents got home from work and by that time the rabbit had still not opened his eyes. In fact, it appeared that his eyes were stuck shut or that he might not have any eyes at all since all we could see was skin and fur where his eyes should be. Since we had found him outside and didn't know what else to do by the time we arrived in our own part of the city in the evening, we brought him to a wildlife refuge centre. They took him in even though he was not a wild rabbit and they nursed him back to health. It turned out that he was dehydrated and, once they took care of that, his eyes opened and they had to clean them out since there was guck in them. The wildlife refuge centre said that they would have to find a home for him since he was a domestic rabbit and we instantly offered him a home with our own family. 

We named him Geronimo because we're big fans of Doctor Who and that was a sort of catchphrase for the Eleventh Doctor. We call him Gerry for short. He has grown into a healthy rabbit, other than not having the best eyesight which is probably due to the state that his eyes were in when we found him. He has such an adorable personality and he is really good for an unneutered male rabbit, although we still plan on having him neutered. He and our dog, a golden retriever named Finnlegh, became very good friends. Gerry likes to cuddle with Finny and Finny likes to lick Gerry.

I am so glad that we decided to rescue him and then give him a home. In regards to that text that my Dad sent me, my Mom said that my Dad later stated that he shouldn't have looked at the rabbit because he ended up falling in love with it just as we all had. Geronimo has changed all of our lives. He can be really crazy at times and then funny or super cuddly at other times. He is a major sweetheart and my heart feels good knowing that he is alive today because of my family and I. Rescuing animals is good for the soul, you guys. You rescue them and they rescue you. That's just how it works.

Cheers,

Kay

A Love Letter To My Blog For Its 3rd Anniversary

To my dearest blog,

Tomorrow is your 3rd anniversary, so I want to express how deeply grateful I am for you. When I published my first blog post on February 13, 2013, I didn't know what would become of you. I had hopes of watching you grow very quickly, of spending lots of time with you, of doing great things together. Sadly, I neglected you. I started off posting a few times a week but then I posted less and less often. Large gaps of time stood between each blog post, and I can understand if you were lonely or maybe even afraid of what would happen to you. But I came back. You see, I needed you. I had so much that I needed to say to the world. So much that I needed to share. I knew that you would be the perfect helper.

I took my time giving you a makeover and planning all sorts of posts that I would start sharing. And then? I started blogging again. I shared my feelings. My observations. My thoughts. My stories. My life. It felt so good! I finally had a way to open up my mind and let everything out. You became a dear friend, once again. I could turn to you when I had something to say. In these few weeks since I started blogging again, you have become a sort of therapy for me. I used to bottle everything up until I would explode. Now I can share my experiences and unpack them. I can break them down and figure out what to do about them. I can share all of that here and I hope that it helps some people.

I'm sorry, darling, that I didn't post anything on your 2nd anniversary last year. Do understand that I was thinking of you. I didn't forget you. I just didn't know what to write about anymore. I think you could have helped me, though. I went through a lot of stress last year, trying to figure out who I am and in which direction I wanted to go with my life. I still am. At least I have you now.

So many amazing things have happened in my life and so many sad things have happened too. I'm ready to start sharing my stories with you and the world, well, at least the internet world. I look forward to many more years, dear blog. Many more anniversaries. Many more posts. Many more stories.

Love,
Kay

Some Dance To Remember, Some Dance To Forget

There are certain lyrics from the song "Hotel California" by the Eagles that really resonate with me; "some dance to remember, some dance to forget." Whenever I hear those lyrics, I relate in so many ways. You see, I bottle things up inside of me. I bottle them up and, most often, don't release any of those emotions, whether they be worries, fear, anger, sadness, or the feeling of being overwhelmed that I know oh so well. I get overwhelmed easily, so when I bottle up my feelings and they swirl around in my mind and they don't leave me alone, I feel like I just want to scream, and sometimes I do. When I bottle things up, I hold onto them and I don't let them go.

Now, some people want to remember the past and others want to forget it, just as it says in those lyrics. But the thing is, we cannot and should not follow only one of those choices. There are parts of the past that we should remember. We should obviously remember the good times but we should also remember certain bad times; the ones that we can learn from. I believe that this is one of the most important reasons that history should always be taught in school; we learn from our ancestors. We learn from their accomplishments and their mistakes and we should do the same when looking at our own pasts. Of course, there are certain memories that we need to simply accept and let go of. Forget about them and move on. Take the lessons away from them and leave the rest in the past. This is what I need to do with all of those feelings and bad experiences that I bottle up inside of me; I need to accept that these things happened, learn from them, and then release them from their prison that is my mind. I need to let them go.

It sometimes feels like I'm at war with my own mind, like my mind is partly disconnected from me, but connected just enough so that when I am fighting with it, I still feel like I am fighting myself. This is what it felt like when I was germophobic at an obsessive compulsive level for a few years starting in high school. It really feels like you have no control over your own mind. When it comes to the feelings that I bottle up, it feels like my mind is incapable of letting them go. I even tend to act out how I would react to something that hasn't even happened. These things usually have something to do with events or people that have angered me in some way. Instead of learning from the experience and letting it go, I hold onto them so much that I waste time thinking that those events might repeat themselves or that that person might show up again and that I have to be ready. I become defensive, even though nothing has happened yet and even though I don't even know what is going to happen. What I need to do is stop worrying about it and move on because it is holding me back.

When I dance, I want to remember, accept, learn, and move on. That's a lot of things to do while dancing, but it's worth it if it helps to let go of bottled up emotions. Either I can do that, or I can just enjoy the dance and not really think about anything except for the music and my feet.

Cheers,
Kay

Be A Smart Patient

On January 28th, I had my first appointment with my new gastroenterologist. The first gastroenterologist that I ever had was not for long-term care so my family doctor set me up with a new gastroenterologist but he retired about 2 years later. When he retired, my family doctor set me up with yet another gastroenterologist. It took me a while to finally get an appointment since it was rescheduled twice, but it was worth it. She's amazing. I wasn't sure if I should be excited or nervous but everything turned out okay. In fact, it was better than I could have ever imagined.

I told her my whole history with intestinal disease. I first started having symptoms of blood in the stool around December 2011 but there was never any pain. My first colonoscopy in July 2012 showed inflammation and ulcers in the end of my large intestine and I was diagnosed with proctitis. I was prescribed cortifoam and then suppositories but the blood came back after I finished those medications and I was then sent to another gastroenterologist. This new one sent me for another colonoscopy around January or February 2013 which showed that there was now only inflammation in the end of my large intestine but it was all in one spot and I was prescribed enemas. I was also sent for a  CT scan (which was messed up because I was not given correct instructions) and it showed a suggestion of tightening of the end of my small intestine. My gastroenterologist said that that meant it was Crohn's Disease and I was prescribed mesalazine tablets which I had to work up to 8 per day. I continued taking enemas but the thing is that the blood would go away while I was taking enemas or suppositories but it would come back after I stopped the medication. At one point, I decided to try something on my own. I decided to try working with my diet to see if I could figure out a diet that would help me all the time, or at least most of the time. I started with following a low residue diet and then moved onto a pescetarian diet in May 2015. By following a pescetarian diet, I was not getting any blood most of the time, and when I did get blood, it was only a small amount. I also wasn't sure about the mesalazine tablets. I always asked my previous gastroenterologist if they would help the inflammation at the end of my large intestine and he always told me that they didn't really make it that far down. So I was always left thinking "Why am I taking so many of these pills if they won't even help the bleeding?" I just assumed that they were all for my small intestine but I decided to lower the dose myself to 4 per day.

I was afraid that my newest gastroenterologist might be a bit disappointed in me for lowering the dose myself or that she might not be a big believer in trying a pescetarian diet but I had nothing to worry about. She was so nice and she appreciated how much I knew and understood about my situation. She said that my question about the mesalazine tablets in regards to my situation was a very smart question. She also told me about how a test had shown that a pescetarian diet worked better than a normal diet when it came to patients with an intestinal disease. She explained that it's actually a very healthy kind of diet. The one thing that she said that made me the happiest, however, was that, looking at my previous tests and everything that I told her, it looked like I actually did have ulcerative proctitis and not Crohn's Disease. She explained how much better proctitis is than Crohn's and colitis. Proctitis is quite common and it does not put a person at higher risk of colorectal cancer. It can be treated simply with suppositories during a flare-up. She explained that some people have a lot of flare-ups and other people might just get a flare-up once in a while. She told me that I didn't have to take the mesalazine tablets anymore. I was so relieved! For several years, I had worried about my intestines and my health since I had been told that it was Crohn's Disease. I was worried when I decided to lower the dose of medication myself. I was worried that I would get a new gastroenterologist who would just send me for tests and prescribe me medication and wouldn't really listen to me. I needed someone who would listen to my questions and concerns. I needed someone who was okay with me trying things on my own to see what would work for me. In the end, I got the kind of gastroenterologist that I needed and I am so glad that I did!

I went through all of that over the course of five years. I worried and was stressed out over all of this for five years of my life when I didn't even have to be. If my second gastroenterologist had paid more attention to all of the information and he had really listened to my questions, maybe I wouldn't have had to take medication that didn't even do anything for me. I took the medication because my doctor told me to. Since he had told me that it was Crohn's Disease, I was worried that it would get worse someday. Along with school and everything else in my life, I really could have done without the stress that all of this caused me. Everything happens for a reason and, no matter how bad, can eventually lead to something good, though, so I guess that all of this had to happen for me to end up with my great new gastroenterologist.

Some people do everything that their doctor tells them to do without a second thought. Some people don't educate themselves enough about their health condition or ask enough questions. I learned about IBD and asked questions. I really thought about the medications that I was taking and looked at other forms of treatment as well. We need to listen to our doctors because they are highly educated in their medical field, but we also have to remember that this is our body that they are treating, so we need to know what's going on. We need to learn about our health conditions. We need to learn about our medication. We need to learn about other treatments available. We need to talk to our doctors, ask them questions, tell them our concerns. We need to discuss everything with them and not hide anything from them when it comes to our health. We need to be smart patients because sometimes, like in my case, doctors aren't always right about everything.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Listen to your doctor, but at the same time, understand what's going on and work with them to come up with a plan that works and  that you and your doctor both agree on and think is best for you. Tell them your concerns and don't be scared of them. If you feel that they are not the best doctor for you, that they aren't really listening to you or that they just say and do things and don't really evaluate the situation enough, then look into finding a better doctor. Don't just be a patient, be a smart patient. Trust me, it will help you in the long run.

Take care,
Kay

Gratitude Jar

Last year for Christmas, I put together this little gratitude jar for my family. I had seen the idea on the internet and thought that it was right up our alley. I basically just cleaned out a mason jar, attached some string and a little label that says 'Gratitude Jar,' and filled a little bag with tons of little pieces of colourful paper that I had cut. The whole point of a gratitude jar is to write down the things that you are grateful for on the little pieces of paper and stick them in the jar. At the end of the year, you can empty the jar and look through everything that you or your family was grateful for that year.

In 2015, we used the gratitude jar a little bit but we never filled it up. We kind of forgot about it but I really want to use it this year since I feel like I need it to help remind me of all of the good things in my life.

Cheers,

Kay

I Wonder What Became Of Them

I love cemeteries. That statement right there can get you strange looks, maybe even frightened ones. I'm not afraid to say it, though, because it's true. I love cemeteries. I love them because they're full of stories. You might be wondering what I mean by that. Most people just think that cemeteries are full of tombstones marking the final resting places of people who have died. In many cultures, cemeteries are very important and are considered sacred. These are very beautiful ways to put it because some people simply think of cemeteries as creepy places where a bunch of corpses are buried. My way of thinking makes cemeteries seem like very romantic places, which is lovely, don't you think? Cemeteries are full of stories because each person buried there has a story, the story of their life. Whether they only lived inside their mother or they lived for over 100 years on Earth, they each have some kind of story, and that's a pretty amazing thing. To have your own unique story is a magical experience and it's a blessing, whether you think of it in a religious sense or not.

When I visit cemeteries, I enjoy looking around at the names and dates on tombstones. I enjoy reading extra information or images carved in stone. I use what I see to piece together what life might have been like for those who have passed on. What did they like to do? What kinds of accomplishments did they have in their lifetime? What kind of person were they? Sometimes ornaments that friends and family leave in front of the graves provide clues as well. Or, sometimes the times that they lived in reveal how their lives were different from our own. It's interesting to know that so many different people lived out their lives before yours has ended and that so many different people will continue to live so many different lives for a very long time after you're gone.

The most interesting graves, though, are sometimes the graves that reveal very little about their owners. Mystery graves. Perhaps there's a name, or maybe even some dates, but the rest is unknown. Perhaps it is only known to the family or friends or maybe it is now only know to those who are buried beneath. These are the graves that really make your mind wander and wonder what their stories might be. Fleet Foxes' song "The Shrine/An Argument" begins, "I went down among the dust and pollen/ To the old stone fountain in the morning after dawn/ Underneath were all these pennies fallen from the hands of children/ They were there and then they were gone/ And I wonder what became of them/ What became of them". This is how I feel when looking at tombstones in cemeteries. Of course, in this case, I know what happened to the people: they died. But I don't know what happened throughout their lives before they died and that makes my imagination run wild and I think, along with the fact that each of these souls had their own story, that that is a very beautiful thing.

I guess one very important thing to remember throughout our lives is best said by the Eleventh Doctor from Doctor Who: "We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"

Cheers,
Kay

My 101 Things in 1001 Days List

One great motivational technique is a list of goals! Writing your goals down a great step to start with before you actually begin your goals. I think of it as a way of convincing myself that I actually really want to a certain goal. I have so many goals that I want to complete that I decided to make a 101 Things in 1001 Days list. 101 Things in 1001 Days is an idea by the Day Zero Project. Basically, you make a list of 101 goals that you want to complete within 1001 days (that's approximately 2.7 years). 

For my list, I divided my goals up into categories. The categories are: Health & Wellness, Fitness, Nature/Environment, Reading, Writing, Blogging/Online Work, Music, Art, Family, and Miscellaneous. The Miscellaneous category is for goals that just didn't really fit into any of the other categories. Lots of people divide their goals up into categories when they post about their lists on their blogs and you'll see that they may have chosen different categories. I chose the categories that were important to me so if you want to put your goals into categories too, choose ones that are important to you! When I made the list in my Day Zero account, I couldn't divide my goals up into the categories so I just put my goals for each category together. In this post, you'll see that my goals are divided up into the categories and if you check my actual list on the website, you'll see that my goals appear in the same order as you see them here.

Check out my list and follow me on the Day Zero website to track my progress! I'll also be doing monthly updates of my progress here on my blog! You will be able to find all of my progress updates through the 101 in 1001 tag!

Health & Wellness

• Meditate everyday for a month and continue
• Write in a gratitude diary once a week for a month and continue
• Don't say anything negative for one day
• Overcome my phobias
• Try Tai Chi
• Grow my nails again
• Improve my posture
• Drink more water everyday
• Floss everyday for a month and continue
• Put my Crohn's Disease into remission
• Figure out a healthy eating plan that helps my Crohn's Disease
• Learn how to make 10 healthy recipes
• Eat healthier snacks
• Limit salt and sugar intake
• Limit processed foods
• Have a vegetarian day once a week for a month and continue

Fitness

• Create a morning stretch/workout routine
• Do yoga everyday for a month and continue
• Walk my dog everyday for a month and continue
• Jog everyday for a month and continue
• Do the 200 squats challenge
• Do the 100 push-ups challenge
• Do the 200 lunges challenge
• Do the 200 crunches challenge
• Start lifting weights
• Be able to do the splits
• Be able to do a headstand for one minute
• Learn more Charleston moves

Nature/Environment

• Watch the sunrise and sunset on the same day
• Watch the sunrise on the Winter and Summer solstices and the Fall and Spring equinoxes
• Do a nature walk once a week for 2 months
• Plant a huge garden and use the vegetables in all sorts of ways
• Go foraging for plants, berries, etc. that I can use
• Learn more outdoor survival skills
• Learn how to use a compass
• Climb Ishpatina Ridge in Ontario, Canada
• Go for a long snowshoeing hike
• Go on a hike with my city's hike club
• Go geocaching for an entire day once a month
• Get up to 1000 geocache finds
• Build an inukshuk on the side of the road
• See the Northern Lights
• Go for a picnic in a park
• Take a nap in a hammock
• Climb a tree
• Learn to identify 10 constellations
• Use less water
• Use less electricity
• Recycle everything that can possibly be recycled
• Start composting
• Go for a day without technology

Reading

• Read 100 books
• Read 100 poems
• Memorize 10 poems
• Read 10 French novels
• Read 5 non-fiction books
• Read all of Shakespeare's plays
• Read all of the Sherlock Holmes books
• Read in a park

Writing

• Write a novel
• Write a children's book
• Write a book of poetry
• Write a book of short stories
• Get my writing published
• Get a story published in a Chicken Soup for the Soul book
• Win NaNoWriMo
• Win Camp NaNoWriMo
• Write in my diary at least once a week
• Use a writing prompt that I have found or created each week
• Write a letter to myself to be opened when the 1001 days are over
• Answer the "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind"
• Update my resume
• Learn how to write with my left hand

Blogging/Online Work

• Make a plan and schedule for regular blogging
• Update my blog's About and FAQ pages
• Put a donation button on my blog when I start blogging more and get more visitors
• Start a CafePress shop

Music

• Practice piano for 20 minutes everyday Monday to Friday for a month and continue
• Practice flute once a week for a month and continue
• Get my grade 8 RCM piano certificate and grade 2 RCM theory certificate
• Learn to play the accordion
• Learn to play the violin
• Write a song (lyrics and music)

Art

• Start sketching regularly
• Learn how to paint flowers well with watercolours
• Complete a colouring book

Family

• Have a board game night with my family
• Have a movie marathon night with my family
• Have a craft/art night with my family
• Bake Finn bun with my family
• Cook an entire meal for my family

Miscellaneous

• Start and complete driver's ed
• Get my G2 driver's license
• Use the French language more in my life
• Learn Spanish
• Expand my vocabulary by 100 words
• Learn how to crochet
• Learn how to use a sewing machine
• Learn how to use a memory palace
• Say "yes" to something I would not normally do
• Start wearing a watch everyday

You should definitely start a 101 Things in 1001 Days list too! What would you put on your list?

-Kaylie

Gratitude List: My Gratitude in Photos!

Lately, I've been really busy with school and the weather has been very dreary. Yesterday, I decided to make the day fun and be very positive and the weather actually ended up being pretty nice! I took photos throughout the day to make a sort of photo journal. I guess it could be a gratitude photo journal! Here we go:

I wanted to start the day off right beginning with breakfast so I had some cocoa puff cereal with vanilla almond milk topped with sliced bananas, sliced strawberries, and cut up marshmallows! It makes me think of a sundae!

I also had mint green tea with my breakfast! The bonus is that both green tea and peppermint tea are super healthy!

I went for a walk with this cutie pie (Finnlegh!) in the morning and then again in the evening!

I had leftover pizza for lunch and found out that although I do not like olives when I eat them all by themselves, they aren't too bad on pizza.

I read a chapter of The Great Gatsby while on the city buses to go to school at the university.

Once I arrived at school, I went up to the reading room in our library (it's really nice and super quiet there!) to continue reading Richard III  which I have been reading and have to catch up on for my Shakespeare class.

I love yoga class and was really thankful for it today after receiving my midterm exam back in my French general linguistics class which I didn't do so well on. There were other students who didn't do so well either and we still have other assignments, our presentations, and the final exam for improving our mark in the class so I'm not letting it bother me. It was a tough exam to study for but now I know what to expect for the final exam! I was happy to get to wear one of my new yoga tops to yoga class today and I'm glad that I wore this tank top because I really worked up a sweat!

In the evening, I made yummy rainbow cupcakes! This happened from around 9PM and onward. I know, who bakes at that time?! Obviously, I do...

I am so grateful for yesterday and I hope you enjoyed looking through my gratitude photo journal! You should try putting together your own! It's super fun!

-Kaylie

Completed Goals: Grow my Nails

A goal that I have had for a very long time has been to grow my nails. Since I was a kid, I've chewed and picked at my nails. I've had people encourage me to grow my nails and I've really wanted to but I would always just keep chewing them or picking at them and they would always be short because of that.

I noticed that I didn't chew or pick at my nails when I wore nail polish so I have tried that a few times but I would just start again when the nail polish wore off. In August, I put on nail polish and left it on until it started wearing off and then I took it off. I saw that my nails had grown quite a bit while the nail polish was on and then I just kept letting them grow. I finally broke the habit. The photo above is what my nails look like now. My nails haven't been this long for a while. I love them!

It feels so good to finally accomplish this goal!
-Kaylie

Positive Life: The Friendship of a Dog and its Owner(s)

The friendship of a dog and its owner(s) is a wonderful thing and I am so grateful to know what this friendship is like. I don't have many memories of our first dog but I have many memories of our second dog, our Golden Retriever named Angel who lived to the age of 14 years (which is a really good age for a Golden Retriever). She was such an amazing dog! Our dog now, our Golden Retriever named Finnlegh, is different from Angel but is amazing as well; although he does need more training.

Dogs are very intelligent. They can sense how people are feeling, for example, they can sense if a person is calm, fearful, etc. That's why people say that you need to be calm if you want your dog to be calm because they can sense it and they may reflect it. Finnlegh is very sensitive. If we're hyper, he's hyper. If we're angry at him for something bad that he has done, he knows it and reacts by going and lying down in a corner. We have this connection with dogs when it comes to emotion and I find it so fascinating!

Dogs are also incredible because they don't judge you by what you have done besides how you have treated them. If you treat a dog right, they will be your friend forever. I count Finnlegh as one of my best friends. More than that, he's a part of our family. I don't have to worry about the rest of the world while I'm spending time with him. I can just concentrate on the present moment and forget all of my worries. Dogs are very therapeutic.

I definitely count having a dog as one of the greatest things in life. You learn so much from them about life and they improve your life in so many ways.

-Kaylie

Gratitude List: The Beauty of Life

Today, as a little pick-me-up,  I re-listened to the description for my key signature in The Signature Series on CBC Music. The Signature Series has descriptions for the key signatures in music and lets you figure out which key signature you resemble the most. My key signature is D-flat Major: The Free Spirit. I wrote about it here on my blog before. After listening to the description of D-flat Major again after a while of having not listened to it, I realized how good it made me feel. I felt so happy listening to it and it made my day so much better. My day was already good to begin with but it just filled me with so much joy! I decided that I needed to make a post about gratitude, happiness, and the beauty in life! So here's a little random list of beautiful things in life that make me happy and make me so grateful!

~ The mysteriousness of mornings ~ Books, books, books, and more books! ~ Colours everywhere ~ Forests of endless trees ~ Looking at art and making art ~ Listening to symphonic music that is so beautiful that it makes you cry ~ Singing out loud, even when there is no music playing ~ Going for walks outside all by myself ~ Meditating ~ Talking to my dog ~ Thinking of my ancestors ~ Having such an amazing family ~ Having amazing friends that are not afraid to be themselves and encourage you to do the same ~ Plants inside the house ~ Pretty, bright-coloured flowers ~ Happy people ~ Sunshine ~ Interesting clocks ~ Having endless possibilities for things to do ~ Things to look forward to ~ 

What's beautiful in your life? There's so much to be grateful for!

-Kaylie

Positive Life: I am Grateful!

I made this temporary artwork beside our pool with white rocks. At first, I was just going to make swirl designs (like the ones beside the word) but I decided to make something more meaningful. Gratitude is a very important thing and it is most certainly important to my family and I! Whenever I'm going through a hard time, I remind myself that there are so many great things in my life and I need to be grateful for them.

Grateful for everything,
-Kaylie

Positive Life: Sunflowers and Gratitude

I'm a big fan of Vincent Van Gogh. He's one of my favourite artists! I saw some of his paintings at the Art Institute of Chicago while on a band trip to Chicago, Illinois and it was incredible to be in a room with some of his paintings, one of which was his bedroom painting!

I decided to buy this cute kit called Van Gogh's Sunflowers In-A-Box when I found it in a dollar store for 3 dollars. I was pretty amazed when I saw how much this kit usually costs! The kit came with the pieces to make the sunflowers, the box which is used as the base, and a little book about Vincent Van Gogh and his sunflowers. It was fun to put together the sunflowers and I now have them sitting on my desk (AKA my "office").

In the little book, there was one piece of information about Van Gogh and his sunflowers that I love. It says that for Van Gogh, sunflowers were a symbol of gratitude. I think that that is beautiful and since gratitude is so important to me, it means so much to me that my favourite artist saw sunflowers as a symbol of gratitude. It also makes me view his sunflowers differently. A lot of people simply think of Van Gogh as a very depressed man but there was obviously so much more to him than anyone could ever know or understand. He was complex and he viewed the world differently, as all great artists do. In his paintings, we can see through his eyes and appreciate the beauty of life.

-Kaylie

Positive Life: It's All About Gratitude!

Welcome everyone! Everyone has a different life. Nobody, really, has a perfect life but we must try our best to live a positive one. We must allow the positive thoughts into our minds and shut out the negative ones. We must keep a good attitude and try to see a good side to things. Most of all, we must always remember the secret to a positive life… gratitude! Gratitude will help you in your relationships with family and friends, your health, and everything you do. People will appreciate you more if you appreciate them and if you have a good attitude towards things. If you stay relaxed and happy, your body will function better as stress greatly affects health. Be grateful for the healthy parts of your body and you will relax so much more. If you are grateful towards things and keep good thoughts in your mind, you will see good things more and more. Our mind is very powerful and we are in control. We choose how we react and we choose our thoughts. Choosing to be happy and grateful for the things we have is so much better than being grumpy and angry so why not choose those good thoughts and feelings? Yes, bad things happen in our lives and it is not good to keep our anger bottled up but we can choose to accept things the way they are and move on with our lives.

Would you like to know some activities to help you practice gratitude? Here they are:

• Write a list of the things that you are grateful for. Your list can have as many things as you like and you can write as many lists as you like! You can write them every day, every week, or whenever you’re feeling down and need to cheer up. It’s completely up to you!
• Think of 3 things that you are grateful for every day and focus on each one for a little while thinking about why you are grateful for them. You could do this in the morning when you wake up or before you go to bed at night.
•  Let the people who you are grateful for know that you are and maybe even tell them why! It will make both you and the other person feel great!
•  Say thank you often!

Here’s a list of the things that I am most grateful for in no specific order. I just started writing my list and kept writing as things popped into my mind which is what you can do as well when you write gratitude lists. Here we go:

• My family
• My pets
• My ancestors
•   My friends
• Music – My ability to play the piano and the flute
• Art
•  Literature and writing
• A warm and safe home
• My health and all of the things that are helping me to stay healthy
• My mind
• My country
• Geocaching
• Attending university

-     
     -Kaylie