Introvert Alone Time

Introvert Alone Time. That's what I call all of those times when us introverts need some alone time in order to recover from social situations. I touched on this a little bit when I talked about being an introvert in another post but I felt that it was something that I needed to talk about in more detail. Being social can really tire you out when you're an introvert. Actually, just being around people can tire you out! I can handle a social situation or being around people for only so long. After a while, I start to feel overwhelmed and then I need to get away.

That's just how us introverts are and I hope that no one takes it the wrong way. It's not that we don't like you or other people, it's just that our personalities can only handle so much when it comes to being social. After hanging out with a friend (yes, it could be just one friend), I need some alone time to recharge. After spending time with family, I will often go off on my own, usually to my bedroom, to just do something on my own like go on my laptop or read a book. Sometimes I can't wait until I'm done spending time with family and friends to spend time alone and I will spend an extra few minutes in the bathroom during a bathroom break just being, well, alone.

Maybe this sounds strange to some people but ask an introvert and they will most likely tell you that they too need some alone time. Being social and being around people can be really draining. It feels like I get zapped of energy or that I get stressed out from all of the interactions. Being alone gives me time to just breathe and think all by myself. When I'm alone, even in just a bathroom, it feels like I finally have some space. I finally have some room to breathe and relax my mind. I don't have to focus on what other people are saying or on what is happening around me. I don't have to contribute anything to the conversation or activity. I don't have to think about specific things. I don't have to do anything, really.

So what does it feel like after having some introvert alone time? I personally feel recharged. I feel relaxed and refreshed. It's like how you feel after taking a nice shower or waking up from a great sleep. You feel happy and full of energy. It's amazing! I think of my alone time as a form of meditation, in a way. It relaxes me and energizes me, much like deep, slow breathing does during meditation. If I need to go back to a social situation after my alone time, then that's fine because I feel ready to go back. If I don't need to go back to a social situation, then that's even better because it means that I can have a longer session of introvert alone time.

We all need to be alone sometimes. Introverts just need it more than others.

Cheers,
Kay

I Shall Have Some Peace There

My family owns a camp, a little cabin in the bush (woods) with a small wood-stove. It is like a second home. When we started using it again regularly this year, two years had passed since we had last visited it. I checked my journal and found out that the last time that we were there was September 22nd, 2013 and we had arrived on September 21st and stayed there overnight. The day that we finally visited again was September 21st, 2015, the day which, two years ago, had been the last night that we would spend there for a while. Of course, some of our relatives who also partly own the camp may have visited it during that time, but it didn't look like it had been used very much.

We have been trying to use it more now. It feels good to go back there, where it is quiet and relaxing. Where we are surrounded by nature. Where there are less distractions. Where we are away from society, away from civilization. I could go on and on but the point is, it's peaceful there. When I am there, I am surrounded by nature and I am also surrounded by my family since we go there together.

I also find that it is easier for me to concentrate on various activities like reading books and working on various projects. I like writing there and working on crafts like my loom knitting. There are so many distractions at my family's house and there are just so many things to be done there. At our camp, however, life is simple. There aren't a million things to do, only a few. That leaves time for working on other things. The quiet of the bush and the warmth of the wood-stove provide a great atmosphere. We sit quietly and read or work on whatever we like. In the mornings, we meditate, and on Saturday evening, we listen to Randy Bachman's Vinyl Tap on CBC Radio, a radio show where Randy Bachman shares songs that fall under a theme (a different theme is chosen for each show) and shares stories from his experience as a musician and his experiences meeting various other musicians.

Of course, many experiences of mine remind me of songs or literature and my experiences of staying at my camp are no different. In William Butler Yeats' poem, "The Lake Isle Of Innisfree," he talks about going to Innisfree and he describes Innisfree and describes what he will do there. At one point in the poem, he says, "I shall have some peace there." For Yeats, Innisfree is where he finds peace. For me, my family's camp is where I find peace.

Cheers,
Kay

On Being An Introvert

I have known for a while now that I am an introvert. The thing is, though, there are many different types of introverts and some people don't realize that. I remember talking about books with someone in a library and, for some reason, I mentioned that I'm an introvert. The person said "but you're talking to me," as if being able to talk normally to a complete stranger meant that I am not an introvert. I don't think they really understood that introverts are not all the same. I think they were thinking of the broad description of an introvert: someone who has trouble talking to people or being social, someone who'd rather stay home by themselves, someone who prefers their own company, a very quiet and shy person. This is not the best description of an introvert. There is so much more to introversion!

Yes, I am able to talk to a complete stranger. It's easy for me to start up a conversation. I am actually pretty good with conversations,with keeping them going and keeping a person's interest. However, I am best with this one-on-one or with small groups. Put me in a large group and I will be the most quiet person there. Maybe I know the answer to a question or maybe I have something that I would like to add but I will not say it because it is hard for me to speak with that many people. I get nervous. I remember being called on in class in university to answer a question and panicking. I actually felt like I was shaking, that's how bad it can be for me. Many introverts are like this. Many introverts are able to speak to one person or maybe even a few people but it is in big groups that their introversion starts to show. When talking to a stranger, they would never suspect that I was an introvert unless I actually told them and, as seen in the conversation with that person in the library, they might not even believe me. To them I would seem to be a bubbly and friendly person who has a lot to say.

My introversion shows up in other parts of my life. I do indeed like to have my alone time, just as many introverts do, and a lot of social activity can tire me out. I prefer to spend time with just one friend or maybe a few friends. If I'm with a bigger group of friends, I'm more quiet and I tend to just speak to one or two people anyway in our own conversation. I feel more comfortable with less people. I'd rather have a few good friends than a lot of friends that I don't know so well. Getting to know a friend really well is important to me.

I actually took a personalities quiz online through 16Personalities (it's free unless you want more information in which case you have to pay for premium but the free version actually provides quite a bit of information). My result was INFJ "The Advocate." The "I" is the introvert trait, the "NF" is the diplomat trait, and the "J" is the judging trait. People with INFJ personalities are leaders and they enjoy helping people. They are creative and imaginative. They believe in equality. They are good at making connections with people and can actually be mistaken as quiet extroverts. The list goes on and on and it just sounds more and more like me. My result, along with the large list of personalities, shows that there are many types of introverts, just as there are many types of extroverts. Take the quiz for yourself and then look through the list to see just how many different types of personalities there are. It will definitely help you to better understand people and not to assume that someone is or is not a certain way just because of one little thing that they do.

Cheers,
Kay