The Complicated Life of my Weeping Willow

My favourite type of tree is the weeping willow. I love how peaceful they look and, to me, they are simply dreamy and magical. I did not think that weeping willows did quite well growing here in Sudbury, Ontario since I always noticed them more down in Southern Ontario and did not see weeping willows here, although other willows do grow here. Finally, I noticed some weeping willows growing in parts of Sudbury. They were even parts of Sudbury that were close to houses and not close to water which is the opposite of the best place for a weeping willow. Once I knew that they grew well here, I wanted to have my own weeping willow. I wanted to have my own special tree that I could watch growing over the years, just like my mom has an oak tree on our property that her parents planted for her when she was a kid and which has grown over the years into a big tree. I therefore told my parents that I wanted a weeping willow for my 23rd birthday. My mom and I discussed the best place for it to be planted and it turned out that we had a perfect spot on our property.

So, for my 23rd birthday in 2016, my parents bought me a golden weeping willow. I had previously chosen the specific type of weeping willow when we were at a greenhouse buying plants and seeds for our garden and I had told my parents the type that I wanted. I specifically chose the golden weeping willow because it would grow bigger than the other type of weeping willow that I saw at the greenhouse and I also liked the shape of it better and thought that the branches, leaves, and colours looked nicer as well. The tree was already a nice starting size when we got it since it was taller than me and the branches already weeped a little bit. We planted it near a creek that runs across our property since weeping willows love water and need to be away from buildings since they grow quite large. My parents had bought the type of fertilizer that the greenhouse recommended for the hole in the ground before planting the tree in order to give the tree the best start possible. Since beavers live in the creek, we knew that we needed to protect the tree, especially since beavers love chewing down willows due to the fact that they have a softer wood than other trees. We put a wire mesh around the base of the tree's trunk that was tall enough so that a beaver could not reach the trunk.

During the winter, we were on our property and I noticed that I could no longer see my tree. When I walked over to it, I saw that it had been cut down by beavers. The snow had become high enough that it covered most of the wire mesh and it was not high enough to protect the tree anymore. The beavers had gone on top of the snow that was hard enough to walk on top of without sinking too much and were able to reach the unprotected area of the tree's trunk. I was angry at the beavers for doing this after we had taken care to give the tree the best start possible as well as the fact that I had been so excited about this tree. My mom told me that it would grow back, though. All I had to do was leave it alone and let it grow new branches on what was left of the trunk. Then I just had to choose the straightest branch that was growing upwards and cut away the others so that that one branch would grow into a new trunk. I felt so much better knowing that it would grow back and did just as my mom said. I also surrounded the tree with a tall orange plastic mesh, knowing that it needed taller protection. My tree was being set back in its growing process but I had learned from this experience.

It turns out, though, that I had more learning to do because those beavers can be very persistent and will cut down even a small willow that just has the remainder of a trunk and one tall branch. The tall orange plastic mesh was not strong enough. Since it was made out of plastic, it ended up falling down, once again giving the beavers access to the tree. The trunk is now even shorter than it was before but there are now new branches growing from the trunk once again. It is incredibly frustrating to have my tree set back again and again but willows are just as persistent as the beavers and will grow back no matter what happens. I am now currently waiting to choose which new branch will remain in order to grow a new trunk and I plan on putting a strong and tall metal wire mesh around the tree. It has been a tough process but a major learning experience when it comes to growing and caring for a tree. I am now even more excited to watch my weeping willow grow after everything that it has been through.

Cheers,
Kaylie

Trying a Pottery Class

In February and March, my mom and I decided to try out a pottery class. It was a private pottery class that took place once a week for seven weeks at the instructor's little studio located in her house. The only pottery that I had ever tried was in art class in high school but that involved building with the clay by hand rather than with a pottery wheel. In this class, we used a pottery wheel to make mostly bowls and mugs, although I also made a small vase, a flower pot, and a plate. My favourite pieces that I made are the mug and plate in the photo above, which I matched by using the same turquoise glaze on both of them. I absolutely love the colour and it reminds me a bit of the famous Tiffany's blue of Tiffany's jewellery boxes.

The instructor was so nice and patient, especially with all of my questions of "Am I doing this right?" or "This is the next step, right?" Making pottery on a pottery wheel was so much more complex than I thought it would be. In tv shows and movies, you always just see the people holding the sides of the clay with their hands and forming it while it spins. When you are actually making pottery though, there is so much more to it than that. There are a lot of skills and techniques so I will not go into too much detail about them but I will describe the basic steps along with some commentary. First you need to measure out your clay and knead it in a certain way (apparently there are different techniques for kneading it but we used a technique called "ram's head"). After that, you kind of smack it down in the middle of the wheel with the flat side down, wet your hands (it is very important that you keep things wet but not too wet), and then you start pushing the clay up to heighten it and then you press it down for centering the clay. Centering is probably the hardest part, especially for beginners, since you really have to focus on how it feels between your hands and if it looks centered. Next, you make a hole in the center by pushing your finger down in the middle, making sure you leave enough of a base at the bottom and measuring it with a tool to make sure. After that, you start extending the hole and making the walls of the vessel taller if you are making a mug or bowl (since I mostly made vessels these are the instructions I remember the most). Before taking it off the wheel with some tools, you clean it up and smooth things out a bit.

The pottery has to harden a bit before you can do anything else but once it has been left for several days or longer, you clean it up even more and trim off a bunch of the extra clay using tools and you can also make and add a handle if you are making a mug. After leaving it to harden even more for several or more days, you fire it in the kiln before you glaze it and then fire it in the kiln again after glazing. Sometimes pottery will break or "explode" in the kiln which happened to some of my mom's pieces. The instructor for our class actually mixes her own glazes and it sounds so fascinating. It is also really weird when you first glaze the pottery since the colour of the wet glaze is not going to be the same colour that it will be after firing it. Also, even though you pick a specific colour of glaze, you still don't know how it is going to turn out after firing it. Several of my pottery pieces as well as my mom's pieces turned out to be quite different than the colours we thought they would be. But that's what makes it so exciting!

One big thing about making your own pottery is that every piece is different and the instructor is very artsy in that way that she loves how each piece is unique. She told us that sometimes people will buy two mugs from her and they will search all of the mugs in order to find one that matches the other as close as possible and, hearing her talk about those situations, it seemed like she thought it was silly since each piece is unique and that is what is so fun about having pieces of pottery. You get a huge variety instead of duplicates. Even when I thought that my pieces looked a bit messed up, the instructor assured me that they were not. Of course there are some major mistakes that you can make in pottery like having weak locations in the pottery, cracks, etc. that you want to avoid but you can't really go wrong with the aesthetics of pottery. I absolutely love that about pottery and I loved trying out a new art form. I am definitely thinking about trying out more pottery classes in the future.

Cheers,
Kaylie

Tussie-Mussies

I found out about tussie-mussies when I was browsing the internet learning about uses for herbs and the history of perfume. I guess tussie-mussies are somewhat connected to those searches. I found tussie-mussies to be very interesting, especially when it comes to their history, and I decided to make one for my grandma for her birthday last year. First, let's go over a bit of information about tussie-mussies and how to make them and then I'll talk about the one that I made for my grandma!

Tussie-mussies are small bouquets of flowers, plants, and herbs. The flowers are arranged in the center of the bouquet while the leafy plants are arranged around the outside. The bouquet is then tied together somehow (using elastics works great and then a nice ribbon can be tied around that) and then the bouquet is wrapped in a doily or pretty paper with a hole cut in the center where you place the stem of the bouquet so that the bouquet sort of sits on the doily.

Tussie-mussies were used centuries ago and then became popular again during the Victorian era. During that time, there were certain customs that controlled conversation so people had to figure out a way to speak without physically speaking. Tussie-mussies were perfect because the important part of a tussie-mussie is that each flower, plant, or herb means something. People call this the "language of flowers." People would wear a tussie-mussie to express what they wanted to say or sometimes they would send one to a specific person. For example, maybe they would want to show that they were grieving or maybe they would want to express their love to a certain person. A flower, plant, or herb can have anything from one to several meanings and sometimes the meanings are even contradictory. People would therefore consult special dictionaries that listed the meaning of the flowers, plants, and herbs or they would attach a small card to the tussie-mussie explaining the meanings, especially if the tussie-mussie was being given to someone. I recommend searching for tussie-mussie dictionaries online and finding the ones that you prefer to use. Some are better than others.

Since I was making a tussie-mussie specifically for my grandma's birthday, I wanted to express joy over this occasion (since birthdays are joyous occasions) and I also wanted to express all of my wishes for her on her special day. I also wanted to use flowers, plants, and herbs that were currently available on my family's property and in our garden areas.

I chose the following flowers, plants, and herbs for her tussie-mussie:
Pansy = Merriment
Yarrow = Health
Vervain = Good fortune
Wood Sorrel = Joy
Basil = Best Wishes
Fern = Sincerity

The pansies came from our hanging flower baskets. The yarrow, vervain, wood sorrel, and ferns came from further back on our property (in the bush by a river). The basil came from our vegetable garden.

It is also common to create a phrase using all of the meanings so I created the following phrase:
Sincere wishes for health, joy, and good fortune on this merry occasion.

I used rubber bands to tie all of the stems together and did this several times throughout the bouquet to ensure that the various layers stayed together and didn't fall apart. I cut a piece of paper in a sort of round decorated snowflake style and cut a hole in the center large enough for the stems of the bouquet to fit through. I also tied a nice ribbon around the elastics and the base of the paper to hide the elastics and paper edge as well as to hold everything together nicely. I wrote out the meanings and phrase on a piece of paper along with a little birthday message and tied it to the bouquet. I also placed the bouquet in a small vase of water to make sure that the plants would last. I told my grandma that she could leave the bouquet in the water for a while and when the plants start to wilt, she can try drying the bouquet so that she could keep it. She ended up letting it dry and still has it sitting on her table beside her chair.

Tussie-mussies are not just simple bouquets. They are so much more! I think that's why they make such special gifts. Also, you can adapt them for basically any occasion since there is a large range of meanings associated with the flowers, plants, and herbs. Give it a try!

Cheers,
Kaylie

Lessons From Books: January-March 2017

Since I started posting in January about books that I read, I have noticed that there are some really good lessons to be learned from them whether they are novels, comic books, scripts, or screenplays. I wanted to have all of these lessons in one place so I thought that I would make separate blog posts to write down these lessons without my other thoughts and all of the other information about the books. If you want to read the full posts that I wrote about each book, I have included the links but here in this post you will find one sentence answers to the lessons that I saw in all of this reading that I've done. I thought about doing this at the end of the year with all of the books that I posted about in that year but decided that it would be better to do this every three months because, otherwise, this post would be way too long since each one sentence lesson is accompanied by a photo of the book. Also, I read a lot. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Angel Catbird Vol. 1 (Margaret Atwood, Johhnie Christmas, and Tamra Bonvillain):

It is safer for both cats and wild birds if cats are kept indoors.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Book, Screenplay, and Film (J.K. Rowling):

Kindness, love, and acceptance are much better ways to deal with challenges.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Parts One and Two (J.K. Rowling, John Tiffany, and Jack Thorne):

You are your own person and you don't have to live up to anyone else or compare yourself to other people.

Lumberjanes Vol. 1-5 (Boom! Studios):

With friends by your side, you can conquer anything and discover who you truly are.

Ms. Marvel Vol. 5: Super Famous (Marvel Comics):

Find balance in life and prioritize the things that are most important to you.

Ms. Marvel Vol. 6: Civil War II (Marvel Comics):

Think before you act.

Uncle Montague's Tales of Terror (Chris Priestley):

Be a good person and do good things or else there are consequences (KARMA!).


Cheers,
Kaylie

Accepting My Anxiety And Doing Something About It

For a long time, I didn't understand exactly what anxiety was. By this I mean that I didn't know the exact definition of anxiety. I was never taught it and I never really researched it. I kind of knew what anxiety was, but I still felt like I didn't understand it enough to be able to use the word properly. I kind of knew that everyone experiences anxiety to a certain extent but I thought that it had to be really severe to actually be able to say that you have anxiety. When I thought of social anxiety, I thought that it meant that the person had trouble speaking to strangers or had trouble going out in public. Just like with anxiety in general, I thought that it had to be that severe to be considered social anxiety. I get stage fright (in some situations it has been worse than others) and I also have trouble participating and speaking up in groups (usually groups that are maybe five people or more). However, I can speak to a stranger one-on-one and be perfectly fine. I actually wrote a blog post about this in the past. I thought that all of this was just due to me being an introvert and also that it was just something that people go through. I never thought of it as partly being social anxiety. I always explained it as me just being an introvert, having a phobia, or being nervous or scared. Like I mentioned before, I thought that social anxiety was more extreme than what I experience. I also didn't entirely understand what anxiety was, not to mention the extent of it and how there are all sorts of types of anxiety. After learning a bit about both introversion and social anxiety, I think it's a mix of both. I don't think that my introversion is the only culprit when it's difficult for me to participate in a group, especially when I feel a bit panicked inside when having to answer a question on the spot. It's just that my social anxiety happens in specific situations rather than in all social situations so I guess it's considered mild or moderate? I'm not really sure where I sit there.

So what exactly do I experience? Well, I can explain more about what I experience while in groups rather than while performing because I haven't had to perform anything for a few years now but lately I find myself in groups and other social situations that affect me. I experience things going on in my mind and my body. I start worrying about the situation before I even get to it. On the way there and while waiting for it to begin, I start feeling as though I'll start shaking any moment. Once it begins, if it's something that I know requires some participation or may require some participation, I feel kind of panicky inside. I get a strange feeling in my heart and intestines (because the stomach isn't actually in our belly button area) and I don't breathe as normally as I should. My heart often beats faster when I know that it is now my turn to participate (for example, if people are participating in a certain order). When I have to participate, it can often be hard to look at people and I feel like my voice sounds shaky but I can't always tell if it really is or not. I also sometimes feel like I'm about to have trouble really concentrating on what's going on because I'm noticing so much about what's going on inside me and my mind is filled with worries. After it's all over and I'm on my way home or I'm back at home, I continue to think about the social interaction. I think about what I said or didn't say or even how I acted or didn't act. If my mind is left without anything to really focus on, I'll sort of worry, in a way, about what already happened. It's like it's on replay in my mind and it won't leave me alone. What I experience during the situation can sometimes differ but I usually always worry before and after. I often find myself suddenly humming when this happens, as if the humming will drown out the thoughts. When I have had to perform in the past (piano recitals or a poetry recitation) I would get shaky. In the case of a poetry recitation in class, I couldn't get past the first few lines even though I had been excited to recite the poem and I felt completely ready. It was as though I just forgot the rest of the poem but I was able to recite it later in front of just my professor in her office.

I'm now getting some guidance for this social anxiety of mine, which I'm really happy about but also nervous about because it involves exposure to the things that cause me anxiety. The first "assignment" that I had to do was do something, not too big, that might cause me some anxiety. Since my anxiety, as I mentioned before, is with groups and performing, I had trouble figuring out what to do for this first bit of exposure. I didn't want to do something too crazy but I still wanted to do something that was enough to cause me anxiety (because you need to expose yourself to the things that scare you in order to ever overcome them). Going out in public or saying hello to a stranger wasn't good enough because I'm fine doing those things. I needed to do something that was linked with groups or performing. I finally decided to go to a poetry revision workshop at my city's main library that was being taught by my city's current poet laureate. She was going to talk to a group of no more than ten people about poetry revision and then spend time with each person one-on-one to go through a poem that they brought and suggest ways that they could revise it. I had been going back and forth in my mind on whether I would go since it made me nervous to be in a group and then to have a poet laureate, who has several published books of poetry, read my poem and suggest ways for revising it. I wanted to go but it was my anxiety that was making me want to avoid it. When I remembered that I was unsure about going because it scared me, I knew that it would be good to go to it for some exposure since it also wasn't going to be a huge group and we didn't have to share our poems with anyone but the poet laureate. Also, I like writing and poetry so it was something that interested me.

Going to this workshop, I experienced all of the symptoms that I described before. I kept worrying about it before I went. I worried that the poet laureate wouldn't like my poem or that she'd think it was weird. I was scared that there would be a lot wrong with it when it came to revising it. When I went to the workshop, I was the youngest one there so that made me nervous right away. Some of the other people included the past poet laureate and some people from the writer's guild. There were only two other people like me who just wrote poetry for fun. This made me nervous as well because most of the people there were more experienced than me. We sat on chairs in a circle, which also makes me nervous because everyone can see you and sitting in circles usually means that there is going to be participation involved. The only time that I had to participate was when we each introduced ourselves so that wasn't so bad. After that, I simply listened to everyone else participate. While listening to the tips for poetry revision, I really started wondering if my poem was alright. I felt as though my poem was starting to look bad while learning about what you should and should not do when it came to not only poetry revision, but writing poetry in the first place. I had to keep reminding myself that my poem was still in the draft stage and that it was alright if it wasn't perfect. I became extremely nervous when it was time for the one-on-one revision sessions and I had to go first. Thankfully we moved two chairs to the other side of the room, away from the group, for this little chat. The poet laureate ended up being really nice and she liked my poem. It was kind of a big deal for me to have this poet laureate like my poem, especially after worrying that it wasn't good. Of course, she wrote quite a bit on my poem for revision purposes (we had to email our poems before the workshop so she would have time to look at them and write down suggestions ahead of time) but it all made sense to me and I learned a lot. I wasn't as nervous as before while we chatted and she explained changes or additions that I could make. It didn't bother me.

Part of my anxiety is that I have a fear of not being good enough. I actually ended up realizing this even before I found out that social anxiety is about the fear of judgement. I have a fear of being judged even though I can be judged no problem when I am actually in the moment of being judged (example: someone reading my writing right in front of me and giving criticism). I just get really anxious before hand. I'm afraid they won't like whatever I created and that it isn't any good. Comparing myself to others is one reason why I think that whatever I create isn't good enough. There are so many talented people out there doing amazing work that I feel like mine is nothing compared to theirs. I have also realized that when it comes to social interactions and the amount of anxiety that they cause me, I am different in various situations. If I am having a conversation with someone one-on-one or with two or three people away from a group, I'm not nervous and can talk the person's ear off. Although, I have been shaky and nervous during piano performance exams that I had to do in the past even though there was only one person there marking me but that was just because it was an exam and exams have always made me nervous no matter how prepared I have been for them. If I am having a conversation with someone one-on-one or with two or three people with a group around but where the other people are having their own conversations but could possibly hear my conversation, then I'm not as talkative and I feel some minor symptoms. In groups of five people or more where everyone is listening, I have a lot of trouble participating and will try to avoid it. Sometimes, while in a group of people, I can force myself to answer a question that I have prepared for and I'm okay, not perfectly fine but I'm still okay. However, if I have to answer a question on the spot, I have trouble answering and I tend to get upset. I have found myself almost crying after having to answer just a simple question on the spot. I think it's because I feel like I am under pressure in that situation.

If you've made it to the bottom of this post then I'd like to say thanks for letting me empty out my thoughts here. I was really unsure about putting this post up on my blog but getting everything out through writing really helps. I plan on continuing to expose myself to participating in groups and hopefully one day it will come more naturally instead of forcefully. I'm also hoping that I can learn to deal with my phobia of bees, hornets, and wasps and that I can deal better with getting needles since I have to get an IV infusion every two months. I have found out that these two things are also anxiety and sometimes I wonder if the two are connected (since bees, hornets, and wasps have stingers and needles are sharp). So what do I want to do? I want to be able to speak in groups without getting nervous or worried before, during, and after. I want to be able to stay where I am or walk through areas without screaming and running away from bees, hornets, or wasps (unless I'm near their nest or something). I want to be able to relax while the nurse pokes me with the needle to set up the IV for my Remicade infusion. These are the improvements that I want to make in my life and I'm determined to finally get through them or at least be able to handle them better.

Cheers,
Kaylie

Ramblings About Taking Breaks, Pursuing Your Passions, And Being Unique

I didn't publish any blog posts last week, even though I have been trying, and succeeding, to publish three posts every week. I was working on a post for Monday but it wasn't quite finished so I planned to finish it and publish it some time on Monday rather than rushing to finish it and schedule it to be published Monday morning. That didn't happen. A certain event happened and created a rough start to the week. I didn't worry about my blog. I decided to take a break and not post anything that week. Some other things happened in the same week and it was, overall, not the greatest week that I've had. I was glad that I took a break from my blog. It gave me some time to think about things. It gave me some time to write other blog posts. It gave me some time to just get things together and plan ahead a bit. I love blogging and I felt bad about missing a week of blogging and temporarily breaking my habit of blogging three times a week, but sometimes you just need to take a break.

We need to listen to our mind and body. I could have pushed myself to finish up some blog posts for the week but I did not feel up to it. I felt that I would become exhausted. I also felt that I might publish a blog post without the feeling of it being complete and just right. I decided, however, that I would only stop blogging for one week. In the past, I would stop blogging and think that I would just start the next week but it always kept becoming the next week and the next until I hadn't blogged for several months. I didn't want that to happen again. I love blogging because it gets me writing and as I continue blogging, my writing improves. I try to write longer blog posts. I try to let the words pour out. As I continue blogging, I get better and better at expanding on my ideas. I think that I need this right now. At a time when I'm still figuring things out, I need something to keep me moving forward.

Taking a break is a good idea when pushing yourself is a bad thing but continuing whatever it is that you're doing is a great thing too, as long as it is something that you love and want to pursue. You want to do things that are good for you as a person. You need to "follow your heart," so to speak. Don't push yourself to do something just because it's popular or because it's just "what you do" in life. Be your own person. Being different from other people makes life more interesting. Being different can make you stand out, and isn't that what we should be doing? I've seen so many blogs, websites, Youtube channels, social media accounts, etc. that are all so similar to each other that they don't stand out as much from each other. Be unique. Sure, you sometimes have to do the same thing as someone else in order to learn how to do it, but once you have the hang of it, be creative and let yourself shine.

Technology is a platform for us to be creative. We should use it in interesting ways that are different from how other people use it. We need to continue changing and shaping the way we use technology. We shouldn't just copy other people all of the time. We need to move forward. We need to advance. We need to create something that really stands out and makes people think differently about being creative. We need to be inspired by what has been created before and then create our own unique creations that inspire other people.

I thought that I was just going to make this post about the benefits of taking breaks but it has really moved further than that, and that's perfectly fine. It became something more than I expected. It became something better. And that actually connects with what I said about following your heart. I could have forced myself to stick to just the one topic, but I decided to let myself ramble on and let my heart speak about what I've been thinking about lately. Now I love this post more than before.

Cheers,
Kaylie

Our 2016 Garden

My family and I ended up planting our garden a bit late again this year but not as late as last year. This year we planted around the beginning of June. Most of our plants were bought already growing from a greenhouse but some were bought as seed. As you can see, our garden is quite large. We have 10 rows as well as a section beside the last row on the far end of the garden where we are growing vine plants and perennials. The photos in this post were taken when the plants and seeds in the garden still hadn't grown very much and there weren't many weeds (that's why it looks so "clean"). This gardening plot had been used for years by my grandparents on my mom's side (who owned the property for years after my great and great-great grandparents) and it was used a bit during the years after they passed away so I am happy that we are using the full garden again! It was a favourite hobby of my Poppa (my grandfather) and it is a hobby that I enjoy as well!

While we were preparing and planting the garden, the mosquitoes were pretty bad because of the time of the year. I told my mom that Spring is, of course, the best time of year to plant a lot of plants but it is also the worst time of year because the mosquitoes just make it so difficult. One day, however, there were tons of dragonflies flying all over our backyard and we hardly noticed any mosquitoes. It was so nice and it was absolutely magical to look up and see all of those dragonflies darting around in the air!

I think it's very important that people learn gardening. In the past, basically everyone used to grow gardens during the nice weather because they had to for food. Nowadays, we don't necessarily need to because we can just buy everything at a grocery store but growing your own garden is still very beneficial because it can save you a lot of money while also giving you organic vegetables that you grew yourself, therefore giving you the knowledge of exactly what has happened to the vegetables. You know that they haven't had any weird pesticides sprayed on them or that they've been sitting in a truck for a long time while traveling to a store. Also, maybe someday we'll all need to use this skill again so why not learn it now, just in case. If prices go up or if pesticides cause too many health problems, you'll be glad that you know how to grow your own food. Also, there's just something satisfactory about growing your own food and it always tastes so much better!

Here are all of the plants that we have growing in our garden this year: onions, green beans, yellow beans, carrots, radishes, beets, tomatoes, peppers, spinach, romaine lettuce, swiss chard, celery, kale, broccoli, cauliflower, early cabbages, watermelon, honeydew melon, potatoes, peas, cucumbers, zucchinis, butternut squash, jack o' lantern pumpkin, strawberries (bought from the Sudbury Gardening Festival 2016) rosemary, thyme, oregano, peppermint, spearmint, parsley, basil, dill, curry, chamomile, lemon balm, and eucalyptus. We also have chives growing in a short wooden barrel planter near our driveway and we have lavender and bergamot (or bee balm) growing elsewhere as well (none of these are pictured in this post). 

The chamomile and chives actually grew back from last year which was pretty exciting. We might try covering up our perennials in the Fall to ensure that a lot of the others grow back again next year. We have to cover the strawberries with straw anyway, or else they will freeze during the Winter. I'm excited to try using peppermint, spearmint, lemon balm, chamomile, and bergamot for tea since we are all tea drinkers in my family. We also want to try making pickles so we made sure to buy some pickling cucumber plants and dill.The plants that I'm most interested to see growing are the honeydew melon, watermelon, and eucalyptus because I'm not sure how well they'll do but I'm hoping that they'll make it.

Cheers,

Kay

Hopping On The Colouring Book Bandwagon

Like so many people, I have bought a few adult colouring books. Yes, I have been swept up into the adult colouring book fad. Colouring is a way of relaxing and de-stressing. In my mind, it's a form of meditation since you are focusing and concentrating on something and relaxing. However, it wasn't so easy for me to start. I know what you might be thinking: "But it's just colouring! Kids do it! It's so simple! Just colour the picture! That's all there is to it!" You're right. But for me, I wanted to use it to relax, de-stress, and meditate and that's what made it difficult for me.

I used to be a major perfectionist. I'm not as bad now but that perfectionist tendency is still there within me. When I'm colouring something or making any kind of art or craft, the perfectionist in me peeks out through my eyes and makes it a bit hard for me to do my work without worrying about the way that it looks. I actually kind of like it, though, because it often helps me make my arts and crafts look better. When I'm colouring, however, I want to relax and not necessarily worry so much about the way that it looks so I'd rather push the perfectionist aside and tell them to just shut up. I decided to start doing that and to just treat colouring as an experiment with colour and different colouring techniques. It isn't a place for me to be perfect, it's a place for me to just try things out that maybe I can use when I make my own drawings. I can worry about making my own drawings or paintings perfect but colouring will be a place to just have fun and practice.

Another thing that makes colouring a bit difficult for me is the fact that I sometimes (or maybe more often than sometimes) have trouble concentrating on things for long amounts of time. So trying to colour a picture became very stressful for me because I would get to a point where I wanted to move on to something else. I have since learned to simply try to relax while colouring and then move on to something else if I want to or if I start getting too stressed out.

A more minor reason for why I have trouble relaxing while colouring is the fact that I press hard when I write or colour with a pencil. I need to learn to just loosen up and relax my hand. This isn't as big a problem as my previous two but it still prevents me from relaxing while colouring so it's something that I just have to work on.

Colouring can be a really great tool for relaxing and, for me, it has been a lesson in life. It has taught me to face my challenges and try to solve them. It has taught me to approach things differently according to the way that I am. Most of all, it is teaching me not to take things too seriously all of the time and to just have fun.

Cheers,
Kay

Sudbury Gardening Festival 2016

On May 28th, I went to the Sudbury Gardening Festival with my mom and my best friend, Bethany. We had never been to this free annual gardening festival and were excited to go since we all like gardening. It took place at the YMCA Centre for Life and Parkside Centre in downtown Sudbury. Since we had never been to this event before, we decided to just wander around and take it all in. There was much more going on, like speakers, but we decided to just look at all of the vendors and exhibitors.

At the gardening festival, vendors and exhibitors don't mind answering questions. The questions can range from gardening and environment related questions to art questions since there were also vendors selling art and homemade yard decorations. There was a vendor selling chaga tea so I asked the two people at the table a few (or a lot) of questions about chaga since we have found it on my family's property. Chaga is a fungus found in some Northern countries that grows from wounds on birch trees and has many health benefits. I wanted to know how to harvest it properly and how to prepare it so that it could be used for tea. The people at the table were happy to answer my questions and seemed enthusiastic while talking about chaga. While visiting some art/yard decoration vendor's tables, the vendors told me how they make their decorations. So, I not only got some questions answered about chaga that I had been wondering for a while, but I also learned how to make some really neat yard decorations and I hope to try making them some day. I was very happy with all of the information that I received from speaking to people at the festival and I also picked up some booklets and pamphlets with environmental and gardening information as well as information about re-greening in Sudbury. This festival was definitely educational!

One of the super exciting things about the gardening festival was receiving free plants, trees, and seeds! There were many vendors selling plants and seeds but you could also get plenty for free! Some of the popular plants being given away were these two shrubs that you see in the photo above, If I remember correctly, the plant on the left is Black Chokeberry and the plant on the right is Wild Raisin. Apparently they were also giving away milkweed, which I would have also liked to receive to attract Monarch butterflies to my yard, but they ran out fast.

There were two tables giving away various types of trees so my mom and I tried to choose trees that we don't have too many of on our property. From left to right in the photo above, there is Jack Pine, White Pine, White Spruce, and Mugo Pine.

In the above photo, you can see the free seeds that we received. There are Black-Eyed Susans, Orange Jewelweed (also known as touch-me-nots), Fire Weed, and Evening Primrose. My mom got the touch-me-nots for my brother since he loves them!

One of the plant vendors that was selling plants by donation at the front of the building was selling starwberry plants so we bought a paper cup full of these guys! We got ten plants for $5. They had been kept in a fridge so we were told to also keep them in a fridge until we were ready to plant them. Once we were ready to plant, we were told not to worry if they still looked dead for a while because they would still be in hibernation mode. These strawberry plants will come back year after year and spread but we have to cover them with straw in the Fall to prevent them from freezing during the Winter. That's why they're called STRAWberries!

Here's a closer look at one of the strawberry plants! Aren't they creepy? I think they look like weird little aliens! Hehe!

I also bought a yard decoration from a vendor that was selling hanging decorations made from old tea pots, plates, metal dishware, etc. This silver creamer decoration was $10. I love the simplicity of it and how the jewels look like water pouring out of it. Of course I had to hang it in our flowering crabapple tree, especially while it was flowering!

That concludes my thoughts and summary of my first visit to the Sudbury Gardening Festival. I had a great time and look forward to going again next year!

Cheers,

Kay

Cineplex's Lily & the Snowman

The last time I went to the movie theatre with my family, there was a segment during the previews about the making of Cineplex's Lily & the Snowman, an animated short film that can be viewed for free on the Cineplex website. The makers talked about working on various aspects of the short film like the animation, the music, etc. I was instantly intrigued. I also saw an advertisement for the short film in the Cineplex magazine, a free magazine that you can get at Cineplex theatres. The full page advertisement looked like a movie poster with the title at the top, an image for the film in the center, and a sentence at the bottom of the page reading "Don't let the world get in the way of what you love." I loved the simple image and inspiring phrase on this page so I cut the advertisement out of the magazine once I got home. I planned to watch the short film. After all, it was a short film so it wouldn't take very long and it looked interesting.

It actually took me quite a while to finally visit the Lily & the Snowman page on the Cineplex website and finally watch the short film. When I did finally watch it, however, I was touched. It is such a heartwarming film and I almost cried at the end. This charming animated short follows the life of a young girl as she builds a snowman who comes to life and creates shadow puppet shows on the fence in her backyard, very much like little films. The little girl is fascinated and excited by these shows and she enjoys them every winter as she grows up. For her, they are a sense of wonder! Over time, however, life gets in the way and pulls Lily and the snowman apart. This friend and these shows were something that Lily enjoyed and yet she lets herself fall into the habit of following a repetitive road of everyday life. What happens in the end? Well, you'll just have to watch it to find out!

This little film made me think of my own interests and passions. There are so many that I enjoy that have been pushed to the side for far too long. I'd love to start practicing piano and flute again. I'd love to draw and paint more. I'd love to start writing more. The problem with me, however, is that my interests get pushed to the side because I have trouble concentrating and I'm beginning to think more and more that my having trouble concentrating is actually more of a problem than I previously thought. I might start working on something only to put it aside for a while or sometimes a very long time because I just can't concentrate on it for very long. Sometimes I have trouble even getting started on it. I even have trouble writing blog posts sometimes because of all of this. That's one of the differences between Lily and I. Her life is what gets in the way of what she loves whereas for me it's the fact that I have trouble concentrating that gets in the way. I can still take away the lesson from the film to help me in my own life, though. I'm determined to try harder to concentrate on my interests and to find ways to help me concentrate. I'm determined not to let my concentration problem get in the way of what I love.

I ended up watching this short film several times which was easy to do since it is only a little over two minutes long. I also watched the video about the making of Lily & the Snowman which I had seen before and can also be found on the same page. The song "Follow You Follow Me" by VAPOR feat. Adaline (originally by Genesis) is lovely and definitely works well in the film which has no dialogue. The music adds to the emotion needed for the film as well as spreading the message. And the message is a good one!

Cheers,
Kay

The Road Not Taken

Lately, I've been thinking about all of the things that I want to do. Things that I want to do now. Things that I want to do in the future. What I want to do with my life. That actually brings up something that I've been working on: figuring out what I want to do with my life. What direction do I want to go in? Which path, or road, do I want to take? Maybe I should just pave my own road?

This always makes me think of "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost, a poem that most people know. The last few lines of the poem are surely the most well known: "Two roads diverged in a wood and I,-/ I took the one less traveled by,/ And that has made all the difference." As a person, I am very... different. I was going to say weird but I'll just go with "different." I have known for a long time that I am going to travel down a different road from other people. I want to take the road less traveled. I'm fine with doing that. I'm not afraid. I just don't know what kind of road it is. I'm still figuring it out. I'm still figuring out my life. And that's okay. I'm young. I have my whole life ahead of me. I still have so much time. I still have so many options to explore. Sometimes it feels like there is so much pressure to figure out our whole lives when we are young but that's just way too difficult. We need more time. We need more experiences. We need to explore more of life.

I create my life. People can influence it, but I ultimately create it. I choose what I want my life to be. I can choose to decide now or I can choose to take my time. Some people decide quickly and others take more time. And that's okay. Some people know deep down what they want to do with their lives and others need to explore. I have so many things that I love to do and I'm trying to explore them and figure out how to fit all of them in my life. Which things will I turn into my career? Which things will I turn into my passions? Which things will I turn into my hobbies for when I just want to relax a bit?

Whatever I choose, I can indeed choose to travel down the road less traveled. I can even pave that road, therefore making myself the first person to travel down that road. I can create that road and see where it leads me. Maybe others will be willing to come along with me or at least encourage me along the way. Some people may wonder where I'm going or some may see exactly where I'm headed, because they too know what it's like to travel down these kinds of roads. No matter what, I don't think that anything is set in stone. Roads can change. But I shouldn't worry about that yet. I still have to figure out in which direction I'm going so that I can find my road, or find out where I'm going to build it.

Cheers,
Kay

Another Goal for 2016: Productivity

So I missed another day of publishing a blog post. This time was different from last time, though. This time, I got so caught up in doing something else that I forgot to write a blog post. I have decided not to be too hard on myself, however, because I usually have trouble concentrating on things for a long time. I was working my way through this week's modules for a free online course about musical notation. Things like this (learning courses) are the types of things that I normally have trouble concentrating on but I was actually able to concentrate on it for a while so I'm happy about that.

I guess this blog is my place to talk about things like that, how I have trouble concentrating and how I try to keep up with things. There are all sorts of challenges in my life that I am trying to work my way through. I'm trying to improve. I'm trying to become better at working on things. I'm trying to become better at concentrating on things. I'm trying to continue to learn more about the subjects that interest me. Winter is the perfect time when I'm stuck inside a lot. Once spring and summer come along, I'm going to want to spend more time outside. I've thought about bringing my hobbies outside with me during the warmer months. I could bring whatever I'm working on whether it be art, writing, studying, reading, etc. Maybe I'll bring them with me to our swing in our little garden area that we have dubbed our zen garden. Or maybe I'll bring them with me to the table on our front porch or to the lawn chairs beside our pool. Maybe working outside will give me a boost when it comes to productivity since it will be a change of environment.

I find that a change of environment helps with concentration. At home, I often get bored of the room that I'm working in and want to move my work elsewhere. Working in new places like various libraries has shown to help me work. I'll be in a different location and suddenly I get a lot of work done. Accomplishment makes me happy. I get a burst of pure joy when I'm able to tick something off of my to do list, especially since I procrastinate on a lot of the things on my to do lists. I write so many lists and most of the things won't get done for days, maybe even never.

Well, here's to being more productive. Another goal for this year.

Cheers,
Kay

Life Lessons That I Learned From University

Last week I shared a list of the life lessons that I learned from being a piano teacher. It got me thinking about life lessons that I have learned from other experiences in my life, like university. Maybe this will become a bit of a new blog post series on my blog. I probably won't write these blog posts a whole lot but maybe once in a while. We'll see. They'll all be found under the 'Life Lessons' label. Anyway, back to my university experience. If you have read my 'About' page, then you know that I graduated from Laurentian University in June 2015 with a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and a minor in French (as a second language). I therefore also have my bilingualism certificate for French as a second language. Now, looking back at my experience of doing a four year undergraduate degree in university, especially a Bachelor of Arts, I didn't just learn about the subjects that I was studying. I also learned a lot about life and myself. In the following list, I share what I learned.

1) Question everything: Don't understand something? Ask a question. Get answers. Don't like something or believe something or just have a different opinion? Question it. Challenge it. Let your voice be heard.

2) Think for yourself, you're allowed to have an opinion: This is connected to the life lesson above about questioning everything. You are allowed to think differently. You are allowed to have an opinion. You are allowed to be a free thinker. Open up your mind.

3) We have to figure out for ourselves how we learn best: I learned that classroom learning isn't the best option for me since I am a visual learner (as well as a bit of a kinesthetic learner) rather than an auditory learner. I learn better on my own and through online courses. Everyone is different. You just have to figure out how you learn best and use that to help you in future learning.

4) We are always learning: We start learning from the time that we are born and then for the rest of our lives. There is so much to learn, the world is so big, and we experience so many things. Even if you aren't in school, you still continue to learn and that's a beautiful thing.

5) The world is an amazing and crazy place: University is great for showing us how to look at the world differently. Trust me, you'll never see it the same way ever again.

University is definitely an incredible experience! It opens up your mind to new ideas and prepares you to go out into the world and make your own choices about how you want to live your life and how you want to think.

Cheers,
Kay

Life Lessons That I Learned From Being A Piano Teacher

I was a piano teacher for three years while I was in university. I had enough knowledge of playing piano so my own piano teacher hired me to work as a piano teacher in his piano teaching business, as he often did with other students. It was amazing for me to teach piano because I never really thought of myself becoming a piano teacher. I learned how to play the piano just for fun so it was awesome to actually see something come out of that education, all of those years of piano lessons. It was also amazing for me to teach piano because I learned a lot. Sometimes teaching was a breeze and other times it was more difficult depending on the students. Now that I am no longer teaching piano, I thought that I'd make a list of the life lessons that I learned from teaching piano.

1) Everyone is different in personality and the way that they learn: It is important to remember this and understand it. Understand different personality types and learning types. Get to know them or at least be accepting of them. You never know who you might meet in the world. Be prepared to do things a little differently when meeting various people in order to get to know them or at least have a nice conversation with them.

2) Put yourself in other people's shoes: This is connected to the lesson about how everyone is different. When speaking to someone and teaching someone, put yourself in their shoes. They might not understand what you're saying or teaching so accept and understand this. Once you do this, you can figure out a different approach to the subject.

3) Be open to learning new things: Some people might think that a teacher knows everything about what they teach but the truth is that they do not. They simply know a lot about it, so much that they are able to teach it. There is so much information about everything in the world that it would be hard to actually learn everything about a subject. So, even teachers still need to learn more about what they're teaching, as well as about how to teach. Students ask questions and sometimes we don't have the answers so that can be a great excuse to continue learning. Everyone should continue learning new things, whether or not you're a teacher.

4) Be enthusiastic about what you love: Whatever it is that you love, whether it be a hobby or a job, be enthusiastic about it! Show people that you love it! If you show enthusiasm for whatever it is that you love, then other people might be interested in it too.

5) Some people learn things just for fun: Even though I always learned piano just for fun, I had to remind myself that others do too, especially kids. As a piano teacher, I felt that my students needed to learn everything right now and that they needed to do it correctly in order to move on. It frustrated me when students didn't remember things that I had told them several times before or when they kept making the same mistakes over and over again. I had to realize that most of them will never become piano teachers or concert pianists. In fact, some students might not even continue piano lessons after one or several years. This doesn't mean that they don't want to learn, however, so we must let them and help them. In life, we have to accept that some people just like learning for fun and they might ask us questions about some of our hobbies or jobs and we should feed their curiosity because it is still important to learn, even if it's just for curiosity's sake.

We learn from all sorts of experiences and I definitely learned from my experience as a piano teacher!

Cheers,
Kay

A Love Letter To My Blog For Its 3rd Anniversary

To my dearest blog,

Tomorrow is your 3rd anniversary, so I want to express how deeply grateful I am for you. When I published my first blog post on February 13, 2013, I didn't know what would become of you. I had hopes of watching you grow very quickly, of spending lots of time with you, of doing great things together. Sadly, I neglected you. I started off posting a few times a week but then I posted less and less often. Large gaps of time stood between each blog post, and I can understand if you were lonely or maybe even afraid of what would happen to you. But I came back. You see, I needed you. I had so much that I needed to say to the world. So much that I needed to share. I knew that you would be the perfect helper.

I took my time giving you a makeover and planning all sorts of posts that I would start sharing. And then? I started blogging again. I shared my feelings. My observations. My thoughts. My stories. My life. It felt so good! I finally had a way to open up my mind and let everything out. You became a dear friend, once again. I could turn to you when I had something to say. In these few weeks since I started blogging again, you have become a sort of therapy for me. I used to bottle everything up until I would explode. Now I can share my experiences and unpack them. I can break them down and figure out what to do about them. I can share all of that here and I hope that it helps some people.

I'm sorry, darling, that I didn't post anything on your 2nd anniversary last year. Do understand that I was thinking of you. I didn't forget you. I just didn't know what to write about anymore. I think you could have helped me, though. I went through a lot of stress last year, trying to figure out who I am and in which direction I wanted to go with my life. I still am. At least I have you now.

So many amazing things have happened in my life and so many sad things have happened too. I'm ready to start sharing my stories with you and the world, well, at least the internet world. I look forward to many more years, dear blog. Many more anniversaries. Many more posts. Many more stories.

Love,
Kay

Some Dance To Remember, Some Dance To Forget

There are certain lyrics from the song "Hotel California" by the Eagles that really resonate with me; "some dance to remember, some dance to forget." Whenever I hear those lyrics, I relate in so many ways. You see, I bottle things up inside of me. I bottle them up and, most often, don't release any of those emotions, whether they be worries, fear, anger, sadness, or the feeling of being overwhelmed that I know oh so well. I get overwhelmed easily, so when I bottle up my feelings and they swirl around in my mind and they don't leave me alone, I feel like I just want to scream, and sometimes I do. When I bottle things up, I hold onto them and I don't let them go.

Now, some people want to remember the past and others want to forget it, just as it says in those lyrics. But the thing is, we cannot and should not follow only one of those choices. There are parts of the past that we should remember. We should obviously remember the good times but we should also remember certain bad times; the ones that we can learn from. I believe that this is one of the most important reasons that history should always be taught in school; we learn from our ancestors. We learn from their accomplishments and their mistakes and we should do the same when looking at our own pasts. Of course, there are certain memories that we need to simply accept and let go of. Forget about them and move on. Take the lessons away from them and leave the rest in the past. This is what I need to do with all of those feelings and bad experiences that I bottle up inside of me; I need to accept that these things happened, learn from them, and then release them from their prison that is my mind. I need to let them go.

It sometimes feels like I'm at war with my own mind, like my mind is partly disconnected from me, but connected just enough so that when I am fighting with it, I still feel like I am fighting myself. This is what it felt like when I was germophobic at an obsessive compulsive level for a few years starting in high school. It really feels like you have no control over your own mind. When it comes to the feelings that I bottle up, it feels like my mind is incapable of letting them go. I even tend to act out how I would react to something that hasn't even happened. These things usually have something to do with events or people that have angered me in some way. Instead of learning from the experience and letting it go, I hold onto them so much that I waste time thinking that those events might repeat themselves or that that person might show up again and that I have to be ready. I become defensive, even though nothing has happened yet and even though I don't even know what is going to happen. What I need to do is stop worrying about it and move on because it is holding me back.

When I dance, I want to remember, accept, learn, and move on. That's a lot of things to do while dancing, but it's worth it if it helps to let go of bottled up emotions. Either I can do that, or I can just enjoy the dance and not really think about anything except for the music and my feet.

Cheers,
Kay

Be A Smart Patient

On January 28th, I had my first appointment with my new gastroenterologist. The first gastroenterologist that I ever had was not for long-term care so my family doctor set me up with a new gastroenterologist but he retired about 2 years later. When he retired, my family doctor set me up with yet another gastroenterologist. It took me a while to finally get an appointment since it was rescheduled twice, but it was worth it. She's amazing. I wasn't sure if I should be excited or nervous but everything turned out okay. In fact, it was better than I could have ever imagined.

I told her my whole history with intestinal disease. I first started having symptoms of blood in the stool around December 2011 but there was never any pain. My first colonoscopy in July 2012 showed inflammation and ulcers in the end of my large intestine and I was diagnosed with proctitis. I was prescribed cortifoam and then suppositories but the blood came back after I finished those medications and I was then sent to another gastroenterologist. This new one sent me for another colonoscopy around January or February 2013 which showed that there was now only inflammation in the end of my large intestine but it was all in one spot and I was prescribed enemas. I was also sent for a  CT scan (which was messed up because I was not given correct instructions) and it showed a suggestion of tightening of the end of my small intestine. My gastroenterologist said that that meant it was Crohn's Disease and I was prescribed mesalazine tablets which I had to work up to 8 per day. I continued taking enemas but the thing is that the blood would go away while I was taking enemas or suppositories but it would come back after I stopped the medication. At one point, I decided to try something on my own. I decided to try working with my diet to see if I could figure out a diet that would help me all the time, or at least most of the time. I started with following a low residue diet and then moved onto a pescetarian diet in May 2015. By following a pescetarian diet, I was not getting any blood most of the time, and when I did get blood, it was only a small amount. I also wasn't sure about the mesalazine tablets. I always asked my previous gastroenterologist if they would help the inflammation at the end of my large intestine and he always told me that they didn't really make it that far down. So I was always left thinking "Why am I taking so many of these pills if they won't even help the bleeding?" I just assumed that they were all for my small intestine but I decided to lower the dose myself to 4 per day.

I was afraid that my newest gastroenterologist might be a bit disappointed in me for lowering the dose myself or that she might not be a big believer in trying a pescetarian diet but I had nothing to worry about. She was so nice and she appreciated how much I knew and understood about my situation. She said that my question about the mesalazine tablets in regards to my situation was a very smart question. She also told me about how a test had shown that a pescetarian diet worked better than a normal diet when it came to patients with an intestinal disease. She explained that it's actually a very healthy kind of diet. The one thing that she said that made me the happiest, however, was that, looking at my previous tests and everything that I told her, it looked like I actually did have ulcerative proctitis and not Crohn's Disease. She explained how much better proctitis is than Crohn's and colitis. Proctitis is quite common and it does not put a person at higher risk of colorectal cancer. It can be treated simply with suppositories during a flare-up. She explained that some people have a lot of flare-ups and other people might just get a flare-up once in a while. She told me that I didn't have to take the mesalazine tablets anymore. I was so relieved! For several years, I had worried about my intestines and my health since I had been told that it was Crohn's Disease. I was worried when I decided to lower the dose of medication myself. I was worried that I would get a new gastroenterologist who would just send me for tests and prescribe me medication and wouldn't really listen to me. I needed someone who would listen to my questions and concerns. I needed someone who was okay with me trying things on my own to see what would work for me. In the end, I got the kind of gastroenterologist that I needed and I am so glad that I did!

I went through all of that over the course of five years. I worried and was stressed out over all of this for five years of my life when I didn't even have to be. If my second gastroenterologist had paid more attention to all of the information and he had really listened to my questions, maybe I wouldn't have had to take medication that didn't even do anything for me. I took the medication because my doctor told me to. Since he had told me that it was Crohn's Disease, I was worried that it would get worse someday. Along with school and everything else in my life, I really could have done without the stress that all of this caused me. Everything happens for a reason and, no matter how bad, can eventually lead to something good, though, so I guess that all of this had to happen for me to end up with my great new gastroenterologist.

Some people do everything that their doctor tells them to do without a second thought. Some people don't educate themselves enough about their health condition or ask enough questions. I learned about IBD and asked questions. I really thought about the medications that I was taking and looked at other forms of treatment as well. We need to listen to our doctors because they are highly educated in their medical field, but we also have to remember that this is our body that they are treating, so we need to know what's going on. We need to learn about our health conditions. We need to learn about our medication. We need to learn about other treatments available. We need to talk to our doctors, ask them questions, tell them our concerns. We need to discuss everything with them and not hide anything from them when it comes to our health. We need to be smart patients because sometimes, like in my case, doctors aren't always right about everything.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Listen to your doctor, but at the same time, understand what's going on and work with them to come up with a plan that works and  that you and your doctor both agree on and think is best for you. Tell them your concerns and don't be scared of them. If you feel that they are not the best doctor for you, that they aren't really listening to you or that they just say and do things and don't really evaluate the situation enough, then look into finding a better doctor. Don't just be a patient, be a smart patient. Trust me, it will help you in the long run.

Take care,
Kay