Kaylie: Name Confusion

This blog post is going to be a bit different than my usual blog posts. It is still going to have my thoughts and feelings about a certain topic and may end with me coming to some kind of realization or lesson but it is mostly just going to be me ranting about confusions that other people have when it comes to my first name. So, you might want to grab a cup of tea and find a cozy place to sit for this blog post because it is going to be a doozy!

First of all, let's actually start with my first name: Kaylie. Pronounced K-AY-L-EE. The meaning of the name is unclear according to the results from several websites. The name Kaylie is a modern American creation and does not traditionally come from another language but, if we break it down and find the meanings of the names in it, then we can give it meaning. Most people focus on the Kay part of the name. According to the internet, the name has Kay in it which comes from Katherine which is from the Greek word katharos meaning "pure." Some websites say that the name might also come from the Celtic word caol meaning "slender." These are the most common name meanings that people usually present for Kaylie. Going even further, the "lee" part of the name (spelled L-I-E for me) comes from the Old English word leah meaning "woodland, clearing." Sometimes you will see statements that Kaylie is a form of Kayla which comes from the Hebrew name Kelila meaning "crown of laurel."Another interesting fact to add would be that a Celtic party is called a ceilidh and is pronounced the same way as Kaylie.

My mom ended up choosing to name me Kaylie because her mother's first and middle names were Kathaleen Lillian (although everyone called her Lillian) and Kaylie has parts of both names in it. K-A from Kathaleen and L-I from Lillian. I love this! I love having a special little reason for my name and having a connection to one of my ancestors while also having my own name rather than the exact same name as them.

Now we get into the confusions with my name. People make mistakes with the spelling of my name if they don't know how mine is specifically spelled, or if they forget, or if they just aren't paying attention. I remember getting valentine cards in elementary school that, even though my fellow students had known me for a while, would still have wrong spellings of my name.

Here are just a few ways that my name can be spelled: Kaylie, Kaylee, Kailee, Kaley, Kayley, Kailey, Kayleigh. There are also so many other spellings. It can be spelled in all sorts of different ways as long as you have the "k," "ay," "l," and "ee" sounds in it. It can also start with a "c." So, imagine all of the possible spellings after the first letter and then think of all of them starting with a "k" or a "c." That's a lot of different spellings!

Since there are other names that are kind of similar, I end up getting called those names sometimes, especially Kylie since it is so close to my name. So many people have mistakenly called me Kylie that, when introducing myself, I now tell people that if they can't remember my name, they can just call me Kay. That is usually a lot easier for them to remember since it also sounds just like the first letter of my name. People have also told me that it will help them remember that I am Kaylie and not Kylie.

As annoying as it is for people to spell my name wrong or call me by the wrong name, it kind of makes my name special. My name is not as common as other names and it has so many different spellings. It is unique. Also, maybe I should be grateful for the fact that people at least remember me, even if they get my name wrong. And who am I to judge when I myself remember faces better than names?

Cheers,
Kaylie

Tussie-Mussies

I found out about tussie-mussies when I was browsing the internet learning about uses for herbs and the history of perfume. I guess tussie-mussies are somewhat connected to those searches. I found tussie-mussies to be very interesting, especially when it comes to their history, and I decided to make one for my grandma for her birthday last year. First, let's go over a bit of information about tussie-mussies and how to make them and then I'll talk about the one that I made for my grandma!

Tussie-mussies are small bouquets of flowers, plants, and herbs. The flowers are arranged in the center of the bouquet while the leafy plants are arranged around the outside. The bouquet is then tied together somehow (using elastics works great and then a nice ribbon can be tied around that) and then the bouquet is wrapped in a doily or pretty paper with a hole cut in the center where you place the stem of the bouquet so that the bouquet sort of sits on the doily.

Tussie-mussies were used centuries ago and then became popular again during the Victorian era. During that time, there were certain customs that controlled conversation so people had to figure out a way to speak without physically speaking. Tussie-mussies were perfect because the important part of a tussie-mussie is that each flower, plant, or herb means something. People call this the "language of flowers." People would wear a tussie-mussie to express what they wanted to say or sometimes they would send one to a specific person. For example, maybe they would want to show that they were grieving or maybe they would want to express their love to a certain person. A flower, plant, or herb can have anything from one to several meanings and sometimes the meanings are even contradictory. People would therefore consult special dictionaries that listed the meaning of the flowers, plants, and herbs or they would attach a small card to the tussie-mussie explaining the meanings, especially if the tussie-mussie was being given to someone. I recommend searching for tussie-mussie dictionaries online and finding the ones that you prefer to use. Some are better than others.

Since I was making a tussie-mussie specifically for my grandma's birthday, I wanted to express joy over this occasion (since birthdays are joyous occasions) and I also wanted to express all of my wishes for her on her special day. I also wanted to use flowers, plants, and herbs that were currently available on my family's property and in our garden areas.

I chose the following flowers, plants, and herbs for her tussie-mussie:
Pansy = Merriment
Yarrow = Health
Vervain = Good fortune
Wood Sorrel = Joy
Basil = Best Wishes
Fern = Sincerity

The pansies came from our hanging flower baskets. The yarrow, vervain, wood sorrel, and ferns came from further back on our property (in the bush by a river). The basil came from our vegetable garden.

It is also common to create a phrase using all of the meanings so I created the following phrase:
Sincere wishes for health, joy, and good fortune on this merry occasion.

I used rubber bands to tie all of the stems together and did this several times throughout the bouquet to ensure that the various layers stayed together and didn't fall apart. I cut a piece of paper in a sort of round decorated snowflake style and cut a hole in the center large enough for the stems of the bouquet to fit through. I also tied a nice ribbon around the elastics and the base of the paper to hide the elastics and paper edge as well as to hold everything together nicely. I wrote out the meanings and phrase on a piece of paper along with a little birthday message and tied it to the bouquet. I also placed the bouquet in a small vase of water to make sure that the plants would last. I told my grandma that she could leave the bouquet in the water for a while and when the plants start to wilt, she can try drying the bouquet so that she could keep it. She ended up letting it dry and still has it sitting on her table beside her chair.

Tussie-mussies are not just simple bouquets. They are so much more! I think that's why they make such special gifts. Also, you can adapt them for basically any occasion since there is a large range of meanings associated with the flowers, plants, and herbs. Give it a try!

Cheers,
Kaylie

My Word for 2017: HEALTH

From October 6th to the 21st in the Fall of 2016, I was in the hospital. My proctitis had flared up and I became really sick. I became anemic, could barely eat, and lost weight. I basically felt like I couldn't do anything anymore because of such a lack of energy and I was getting to a point where I felt depressed. I was not in a good place. I went to several doctor's appointments and I went to emerg at the hospital twice. I was put on medication but it wasn't working like it should. My family doctor, along with the gastroenterologist that was filling in for my usual gastroenterologist, decided that it would be best if I was admitted to the hospital so that they could do some tests to figure out what was going on.

The day after I was admitted to the hospital, I went for a colonoscopy and it showed that the inflammation that had stayed put at the end of my colon for almost five years had spread to the rest of my colon. I remember hearing the gastroenterologist say "no wonder you're sick." I didn't have proctitis anymore. Now I had ulcerative pancolitis which basically means that there is ulcerative colitis in the entire colon.

I was on fluids and an IV form of prednisone. Once they took me off of that, I was on some pills. I was getting better but it was very slow. At one point, my hemoglobin went low (it dropped to 71) and I had to get a blood transfusion. Through the slow progress in the improvement of my health and the fact that I had to get a blood transfusion, the gastroenterologist said that my body was not responding well enough to the usual medications and I had my first dose of Remicade two days after my blood transfusion. Remicade is a biologic drug which is taken through an IV and it is basically the strongest drug for ulcerative colitis. I now have to receive it every two months, basically for the rest of my life since it is the kind of medication that you have to continue to receive in order for it to continue working. If Remicade failed, then I would have to get my colon removed.

Staying in the hospital was a scary experience for me. I had never stayed overnight in a hospital before and it didn't help that needles freak me out and I had to get IVs put in several times along with blood tests every day. I also got really depressed, which was possibly due to side effects from the medication, so my mood and my thoughts were really messed up. Also, I had to deal with the fact that my chronic illness had now become way worse than it used to be. I cried a lot and my parents took turns staying with me overnight for most of the nights because I would sometimes wake up all freaked out or I would wake up in the morning feeling really scared and alone. It was awful.

It wasn't easy once I got home either. There was so much information along with appointments and paying close attention to my body while it was still healing. I got really overwhelmed. So, I did something that always helps me when I'm overwhelmed by too many things. I organized! I put all of the information into a binder and split everything up into categories using dividers. Some of the things that I have in my colitis binder include a page for important phone numbers, calendars for keeping track of appointments and medication schedules, medication information, diet information, etc. Having everything organized nicely in one place rather than just having  pile of pages helped so much! My brain didn't feel so scattered anymore. Another thing that I did was make sure to keep on top of phone calls that had to be made and appointments that I had to go to. I made sure to get things done right away instead of putting them off until later.

Fast forward to now, over two months later, and my colitis is much better than it was before but my body still has some more healing to do. I have had a total of three Remicade infusions so far with my fourth one coming up next week. My colitis started improving a lot the day after my first Remicade infusion in the hospital but the other Remicade infusions seem to only make it improve a little bit more rather than a lot more. I guess I'm still lucky though to have it work as fast as it did because it can take several infusions for some people before they start to see any improvements at all. So, maybe the Remicade still hasn't kicked in entirely for me yet. It is definitely working though, because I'm not getting sick again like I did before.

Having said all of that, it was easy to choose my word for this new year. My word for 2017 is HEALTH. Even though my health has greatly improved, there is still more healing to do. Also, I need to pay more attention to my body now since my colitis spread to the rest of my colon. I need to focus on my mental health as well since living with a chronic illness, especially when it is considered severe since I am on the strongest medication for it, can be difficult and can really affect how you feel. I hope that by the end of this year my colitis will be completely under control thanks to the Remicade and that I can say that I chose the perfect word.

Cheers,
Kaylie

My Word For 2016

Just like choosing New Year's resolutions, many people will suggest coming up with a word for the New Year. A word that you will take with you wherever you go. A word that you will keep in your back pocket for those times when you face a challenge. A word that will serve you and help you to accomplish your goals. A word that speaks to you. A word that you need in your life.

I decided to choose a word for 2016. I knew that I needed a strong word to guide me. I have so many plans for this year and I'm not really sure where to begin, or even how. I sometimes have trouble starting things, going after what I want. I needed a word that would give me confidence, determination, and strength. A word that would help me in my goals, but also in the challenges that I face. For 2016, I chose the word BRAVE.

To me, BRAVE means doing things even when they scare me. For me, the word BRAVE reminds me of other words like COURAGE, CONFIDENT, STRONG, ACTION, LEARN, and GROW. The word BRAVE tells me that it's okay to be afraid, but you just can't let that fear stop you. You need to gather up your courage and do or be whatever your heart desires. Through fear, we can be brave, and by being brave, we can grow and become stronger.

Blogging again is one way in which I am being brave. As I explained before, blogging scared me. My perfectionism and lack of knowledge of web design prevented me from posting here on my blog for a long time. I was scared to talk about certain things. I was scared to put myself out there. I was scared that I wasn't good enough. But I decided to start blogging again. I wanted to start blogging again, and so I did. I started talking about the things that I felt needed to be said. I put myself out there and I loved it. It helped me think about things that were bothering me. It helped me think things through, break things down, and learn.

This is just the beginning. I still have the whole year ahead of me and I have so many things that I want to do, many of which scare me. Many of which I could have started a while ago but didn't because fear was holding me back. I'm excited. I feel strong and motivated. I'm going to go and do things and make things happen. That's what BRAVE will do for me. It will guide me and remind me that, to do the things that scare me, I just need to be brave.

Cheers,
Kay