Chronic Diseases: Worries and Dreams

I have two chronic diseases, both of them autoimmune diseases, which I have previously spoken about here on my blog: ulcerative colitis and psoriasis. I try to stay positive, especially since I am a young person and still have my whole life ahead of me, but there are still worries. Even though my treatments for both diseases are going well and keeping them under control, the diseases are still there in my body since cures for them do not exist yet and this of course causes concerns. There are both good sides and bad sides to these diseases and I have been thinking about them a lot recently and thought that I would share them here. I have split them up into the categories of "worries" and "dreams" since the bad parts that I have been thinking of lately are more like worries due to the fact that my diseases are under control right now and I have my personal dreams of what I can do as a person with these diseases.

Worries:
Having two autoimmune diseases makes me worry about what comes next. I worry about my future health. I worry about my future body. What will my body be like as I grow older and eventually reach an old age when people normally start getting a lot of health problems if I already have chronic diseases as a young person? What will my diseases that I already have be like? What other issues will these diseases possibly cause in the future? I already got a second autoimmune disease, possibly from already having one. What other autoimmune diseases might I get? Also, what about my mental health? My diseases that I already have have affected my anxiety a lot. How will they further affect my anxiety and how else might they affect other aspects of my mental health? Then, of course, there is the fact that I am stressing out about all of this and stress can make my health worse and that causes me to stress out about the fact that I am stressing out too much. I just have to take things one step at a time and not worry about what has not happened yet.

Dreams:
I was not raised with religion and do not really follow a sole religion, although I do consider myself to be spiritual, but I believe that things happen for a reason, not necessarily caused by a higher being,  and so I must have these diseases for a reason. That sounds mean since awful things that people do not deserve happen to them and it sounds terrible to say that those things happened for  reason but it is one way that I personally cope with having chronic diseases. Maybe I have them so that they can teach me something. These diseases have definitely made me more accepting of others who have health issues. I have also learned a lot more about health and wellness, medical issues, medications, the health system, etc. because of these diseases. They have also made me rethink my life, focusing on my health a lot more and turning me into a more positive person. I am more aware of my body now and try to pay more attention to my mental health. Maybe I have them so that I can help others with diseases, educate people about chronic diseases or raise awareness about them, or so that I can inspire other people by showing them that you can have a great life even if you have chronic diseases. Maybe I was needed in order to do one of these things and the best way for me to accomplish this was by having these diseases. Having these diseases has made me stronger and they have pushed me even more when it comes to wanting to achieve my hopes and dreams. When you feel like you have hit a low point, you have to just think that now there is nowhere to go but up. Even though I continue to go through health issues and have not necessarily hit the bottom, I keep the "nowhere to go but up" mentality and use all of the bad stuff that has happened as fuel for accomplishing my goals. As someone with Finnish ancestry, I also keep sisu in mind. Sisu is a Finnish word that us Finns live by and it is basically the act of continuing on even when you feel like you have come to the end. My dreams are of using these diseases to help me and other people rather than bring me down.

It is unfortunate that I have these diseases, especially as a young person, but they are a part of me rather than being who I am. I am not the diseases. I am me. I just have these diseases and have to deal with them and everything that they bring with them. They are a part of my life and they can be a part of why I accomplish my dreams. I just have to deal with them right and let them take me on the journey that they have been "given" to me for.

Cheers,
Kaylie